Intimacy: Today, I painted a kids room at my new nanny job while the dad...

By Anonymous - 21/04/2011 01:39 - United States

Today, I painted a kids room at my new nanny job while the dad "helped" by staring at my ass and telling me how hard it is to position your "junk" correctly when wearing a speedo. First day on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 342

You deserved it 3 848

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Same thing different taste

Checkpoint Charlie

By VHgolf1989 - 16/03/2022 22:00

Today, I get to go to my new job and have the boss's kid watch me as I do all the grunt work, and he just sits there watching me, only to come and correct me on how to do my job. Oh joy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 127

By f_n_fail - 06/12/2016 21:31 - United States

Today, I got a note from my son's kindergarten teacher. During free time yesterday, he told her, "Mommy was stripping". I was indeed stripping. Paint that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 190

You deserved it 727

Great start

By whytoday - 14/05/2011 06:50 - United States

Today, on the first day of my nanny job, I wanted to impress my employers with how trustworthy and responsible I am. During the sixty seconds that I went to pee, the two-year-old found a black Sharpie and scribbled all over the wall. Nail polish remover made it ten times worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 462

You deserved it 8 355

By cock blocked - 22/04/2015 15:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 145

You deserved it 2 474

By heyyoitsapotato - 31/05/2013 02:35 - United States

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 136

You deserved it 3 300

By Lunazel93 - 22/10/2012 04:07 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 450

You deserved it 1 917

By Anonymous - 21/08/2012 17:39 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 633

You deserved it 2 338

By Anonymous - 11/09/2011 19:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 244

You deserved it 3 186

Probably illegal activities

By Anonymous - 10/02/2022 04:00

Today, I had to find a babysitter while I attended a mandatory work function. We were told to bring lunch and wear clothes we didn't mind getting dirty for a day of team building exercises. I guess that's what the boss calls painting the office. We don't get paid for it, and the boss is on vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 427

You deserved it 132

By lifesucks0925 - 06/09/2013 07:01 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 786

You deserved it 2 816

denvan 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 8:55

You should've told him, when you wear a bikini it's harder to position your junk.

Death_From_Above 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 8:46

I like his job!

Comments

xtacticalswarmx 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 9:19

Come now, (no pun intended) you know you think he's a DILF.

HeavyMetalViking 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 9:21

Well help him put his junk up the right position: Up his ass.

miss_fab 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 15:29

y would she do that

Heather_x0x0 6

Thursday 21 April 2011 9:24

a nanny is supposed to paint a room? first day on the job? so...where was the kid?

AnagenisisZagus 13

Thursday 21 April 2011 9:25

Hey, I smell a pay raise :D Always on the brighter side of the universe. -Zagus

enonymous 8

Thursday 21 April 2011 9:30

He likes your hands on approach with the kids. he might delegate more responsibilities for your hands on approach.

margie2194 12

Saturday 23 April 2011 2:51

haha you're funny :D

FunwithBumperCar 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 9:53

Tell him you have the same problem, ought to ward off some interest.

aloha31 6

Thursday 21 April 2011 9:55

since when does "nanny job" mean "painter"?

InsidiousChild 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 10:48

Once mexicans became nanny's.

higgy6969 7

Thursday 21 April 2011 12:16

another idiot

neelia926 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 15:01

racist

JessicaIsabel 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 16:25

exactly why I wad thinking

JessicaIsabel 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 16:28

what* was*

jlperry31 10

Thursday 21 April 2011 10:03

unless he's cute tell his wife

jlperry31 10

Thursday 21 April 2011 10:03

unless he's cute tell his wife

dj2013 6

Thursday 21 April 2011 10:07

so **** him.

LifeOfPi 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 14:02

your DP explain everything.

TheNinjaBuffalo 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 17:02

50- agreed.

triviumrocks 4

Thursday 21 April 2011 18:06

hot

vfs_fml 0

Friday 22 April 2011 13:47

WTF. stupid comment.

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 483

You deserved it 11 507

Today, mid-sex, my wife told me to call her a nasty slut. I was kind of uncomfortable doing it, but I did it to make her horny. She started crying, because she didn’t realise how much it would hurt her feelings. Now I’m not sure if she’s mad at me or herself, but I’m scared either way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 738

You deserved it 280

The Top

Today, I overheard my son tell his dad that he’s in love. Without pause, my husband told him it’s temporary, it won’t last, relationships are pointless, women only cause grief, and money in the bank keeps a man warm at night better than any woman with cold feet. I’m trying not to feel insulted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 253

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 781

You deserved it 5 802

Today, I have -$700 in my current account, $500 from overdraft fees because I spent money they told me I had. I don't get paid till the 15th and when I cash in my paycheck all of it will go to bringing me even. So the $9 I found in my wallet this morning will have to last me untill the 30th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 785

You deserved it 5 375

Today, after realizing it burned when I peed, I found out the boy I waited two years to have sex with gave me gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 794

You deserved it 7 273

Today, my friend hit a glass with her arm, so I dove to try and catch it before it hit the ground and shattered. I hit my head against the table, giving me a nice gash that needed stitches. The glass was actually plastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 719

You deserved it 8 987

Today, I was fired from my job because I would "scare" the customers. Two days ago a coworker spilled fry oil onto the grill causing flames to singe my eyebrows and the front of my hair off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 027

You deserved it 1 577

Same thing different taste

Checkpoint Charlie

Great start

Probably illegal activities

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