By elissak - 07/12/2014 06:58 - United States - Dubuque

Today, I performed the Heimlich maneuver on a man. He cussed me out because the piece of food he was choking on was "a perfectly good portion of lobster". FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 685
You deserved it 2 755

elissak tells us more.

elissak 12

Hey all! OP here. A longer version of the story... I was on a first date when I saw a man at another table panic, get up from his table, and start running toward the back. I was taught this is a common sign of someone choking, so I went after him without thinking (my poor date!). I caught him right before the bathrooms and had him calm enough for a moment to dislodge the lobster. He was very thankful at the time. Around twenty minutes later when his table got the bill, he made a special trip over to my table to get in my face and started yelling about how I cost him this otherworldly amount of money because he couldn't get that lobster back. I had considered opening my purse and pulling out some monopoly money to pay for his meal (yes, I keep monopoly money on me), but I thought that might have been a little cruel or in poor taste, so I simply stared at him until he walked away. My date and I laughed about it for the rest of dinner, and it's definitely a tale getting added to my arsenal of stories. No harm done!

Comments

martin8337 35

No good deed goes unpunished? What a crock.

We was just trying to project his embarrassment onto you since he was choking on a piece of lobster.

Helldemon 32

Nope, if you read the follow up the dude was clearly just an asshole.

Yea i saw that after i commented but thanks

He should be thankful! Losing out on that piece of lobster opened the door for him being able to enjoy it many more times in the future!

ChildrenOfFilth 12

That is when you jam back in his windpipe

amyfann 26

#42 you're an idiot if you're going to let someone die from choking, because "its not your business." What if you were choking and no one helped ,cause it isn't their business? Bet you wouldn't be saying that now. You dick.. I bet you're the kind to see someone getting hurt/kidnapped, and you'd walk by "cause it isn't your business." or not help a small lost child either... you are a loser.

TahoeFMler 22

Always ask or say something to gain consent. "I'm going to touch your person, ok?"

Garnetshaddow 30

True. That is standard for choking. If the person cannot breathe or reply, that's how you know it's really choking. Still though, if OP forgot in the heat of the moment, it was for the best.

Well then find it cut it in half then eat it again...unless it went flying and is gone for good