By pornhastaughtmenothing - 21/02/2013 08:46 - United States - Tacoma

Spicy
Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 412
You deserved it 11 650
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

feldco1 17

Unless she has tried to tell you what to work on, it's really her fault. Communication is key with this stuff.

256 10
MeLikeBigBoom 8

Well your username explains it quite a bit...

100 2

Comments

HortonThelephant 15

Its alright op. Sometimes even being hung like a bull elephant isn't enough. . . Take charge! Put your back into it! Its just sex you know. A carnal instinct. Trial and error, some communication! You'll have her screaming hallelujah in no time

18 2
7yzz 18

Actually im pretty sure if you were hung like a bull elephant then it would definitely be enough.

1 0
flockz 19

maybe she's had a longer more experienced breadstick in the past that was able to take the edge of her, uh, hunger.

59 2
perdix 29

Buy her a vibrator or a **** machine, and sit in the corner and whack off as she goes to town.

20 28
7yzz 18

Probably not the best solution Perdix my good man, but it definitely would help her 'go to town'. BRING IN THE WHEEL OF TONGUES!

1 0
Merylwen 24

That's the stupidest username I've seen. Dude, **** won't teach you anything. Actually, that's most certainly the very reason you're worthless in bed.

43 5
Catkam623 27

**** teaches you lots of things like that his username is a joke and that you've obviously never gotten laid, but thank you for wasting your time and everyone else's on your stupidity.

2 16
yoursucklives 36

just because women in **** seem like the absolutely love what their sexpartner does, doesn't mean they would like it in real life or that any women would like it. for example: i wouldn't like when my boyfriend would come on my face, but that seems to be quite common in ****.

32 0
countryrose92 23

Hey now, a girl can learn quite a bit from watching a few bj videos, but I don't think a man can learn much from **** seeing as all the man does is sit there with a Viagra.

6 14
jlpteo 6

#24 Agreed, alot of the stuff that goes on in **** is very unlikely to be enjoyable in real life. Im also not a fan of getting it in my hair

14 0
7yzz 18

Not true. Its not like the only that happens in **** is girls taking it to the face. **** teaches you alot of positions, and how to thrust properly. I do my girl like a **** star, in all kinds of positions, and she effing loves it. So saying **** doesnt teach you anything is a complete lie. Who would be better at sex, someone whos never had sex before or someone who's studied a bit of ****? Bit of a no brainer.

1 0
rabidpeach 5

i recommend you watch more lesbian ****. take notes.

23 3
ElmoSaysSquishy 28

Not really most lesbian **** is just two straight women being paid to act like lesbians for straight guys to whack off to.

25 2
RedPillSucks 31

Not really disagreeing with you, but how would you know such a thing? The women could be "BI".

10 3
7yzz 18

@33 How the hell would you know? Judging by your profile pic you dont look like the best insight into womanhood.

1 0
yoursucklives 36

li don't understand women who fake orgamsm. what does that help? sure, your man will feel good about himself, but why not tell him what you like so the both of you can be satisfied? i know nobody will believe me, but i never faked an ******, and my boyfriend appreciates that i told him what i want, since i can't ****** from penetration alone.

24 1
RedPillSucks 31

Sometimes they fake it so the guy will stop. They'd rather do that, than bust the guys ego or seem "forward" during sex by telling the guy what they like. Unfortunately this society teaches men and women that men are suppose to "take charge" and women are suppose to be subservient and compliant.

15 0
Headcrab 29

Not your fault OP. Your gf should give you directions if you are doo g something g wrong. How else can you know? FYL OP.

0 14
vehementbitch 4

Maybe you need to learn from a pro, and not some washed up **** stars.

16 0