Miscellaneous: Today, I realized my self confidence is based on the amount of...

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By Anonymous - 16/01/2012 16:10 - United States

Today, I realized my self confidence is based on the amount of "likes" I have on my Facebook statuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 341

You deserved it 38 416

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Same thing different taste

Friends?

By notliked - 01/10/2009 10:33 - United States

Today, on Facebook, I realized I had over 500 friends. I told my one friend and she changed her status to, "How can Dan have over 500 Facebook friends? Nobody even likes him." It got 42 likes and twenty comments that basically said, "Agreed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 868

You deserved it 12 361

By Baileyy - 01/03/2011 23:18 - United States

Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status over dinner, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 181

You deserved it 41 258

Dopamine

By Kaya Marley Ramsey - 05/10/2021 06:00

Today, Facebook stopped working and I realized how emotionally dependent I am on social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 1 079

By pottie69 - 07/09/2011 05:23 - United States

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that I'm now afraid to add people on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 688

You deserved it 7 184

Clout chasing

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 593

You deserved it 47 245

By why they bomb - 09/03/2015 06:01 - Canada - Campbell River

Today, feeling in need of a self-esteem boost, I took what I thought was a good selfie and I put it on Facebook. Out of 500 friends, the only response I got was a picture of Saddam Hussein with the caption, "This is why I bomb people." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 944

You deserved it 7 853

Reset my life

By Username - 17/05/2011 04:05

Today, I updated my Facebook status as, "Lost all my contacts, need numbers". My mom commented, "Her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends." Her comment got 32 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 170

You deserved it 8 710

By AlonsoKold - 07/04/2014 23:39 - United States - Jackson

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 255

You deserved it 5 870

By Discouraged - 06/01/2015 20:36 - Canada - Newmarket

Today, my brother admitted that he decides whether he will date a girl or not based on the number of likes she gets on her selfies. We share the same blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 647

You deserved it 3 515

By hesaidwhat - 15/01/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, I checked my Facebook notifications to see that someone likes my new single status. My ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 095

You deserved it 5 914

cradle6 13

Monday 16 January 2012 19:00

So you don't like your own posts? Remember, the first step is liking you(r Facebook posts).

thatshot808 6

Monday 16 January 2012 19:07

Liking your own status is like giving yourself a high five

Comments

stoneywoney 3

Tuesday 17 January 2012 2:06

I'm here with you bro. Here with you.

ronnieboo 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 2:17

It's called SELF confidence. Shouldn't be based on no1 else

mick3446 15

Tuesday 17 January 2012 2:36

If you base your social life on facebook than same on you

redmnky21 8

Tuesday 17 January 2012 3:02

time to add those horney black guys and desperate middle eastern guys to your profile

thatgingerkid1 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 3:12

*statii

destinydias 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 3:28

Wow!! SMH.. Do u get a lot of likes????

dubsweets 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 3:37

You should delete Your Facebook account.

lalamike25 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 3:42

You're not a confident person, are you

jkaufman_95 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 3:51

So you posted it here to see how many people would like it?

FlyingWhisps 5

Tuesday 17 January 2012 4:00

You're not alone

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The Top

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven, I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was only wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and, um… stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 531

You deserved it 15 622

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 583

You deserved it 4 359

The Top

Today, I did the whole 'rose petals, takeaway Chinese, favourite wine, and movie' thing. As soon as my wife got home, she said, “Great, now I have to sweep up rose petals, I’m not in the mood for Chinese, I was saving that wine, and I watched that movie last week.” I officially give up even trying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 366

You deserved it 285

Today, my boss discovered that I'm prone to random fainting, due to hypoglycemia. He has now nicknamed me "Fainting Goat" and makes relentless bleating noises every time he sees me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 196

You deserved it 3 132

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 491

You deserved it 4 672

Today, I received my best compliment of the year so far when an ER doctor commented positively on the clarity of my urine sample. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 748

You deserved it 2 377

Today, I unwrapped my present and, to my surprise, I had gotten a repair manual for my truck. Apparently, my parents are "Tired of seeing that piece of shit in front of our house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 507

You deserved it 23 122

Today, I went to a store. I was wearing a shirt that I'd bought from the very same store, and was accused of stealing. When I tried explaining, the manager said I was lying because I'm a teenager and "all teenagers are full of shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 005

You deserved it 3 953