Love: Today, I responded to an argument with my girlfriend by only...

By Cygnus - 03/08/2015 14:14 - United States - Ruthven

Today, I responded to an argument with my girlfriend by only using comebacks she'd used in previous arguments. I'm single now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 799

You deserved it 11 345

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End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/05/2012 11:05 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend started a conversation with "I don't want to break up" and ended the conversation with "I think I'd be better off alone." So I guess I'm now single. I think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 151

You deserved it 2 512

By sillyfox4lyfe - 07/05/2011 07:08 - United States

Today, I realized that I frequently argue with myself and respond back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 140

You deserved it 13 715

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 08:10 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 523

You deserved it 4 177

By PanFace - 13/10/2009 06:54 - Australia

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 118

You deserved it 121 365

Who the **** are you?

By fuckingtrollingskankwhoreshitwankcuntfuck - 13/07/2013 17:33 - United States - Enfield

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 389

You deserved it 4 159

Crossed wires

By Anonymous - 14/10/2015 12:41 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got into a minor argument with my fiancé. Deciding it wasn't worth fighting over, I shrugged and said, "Really, what are we even doing this for?" To which he replied, "Honestly, I don't know. I haven't loved you in years… Oh, you meant about the fight." And just like that, I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 227

You deserved it 2 764

Bragging rights

By lucasbeck99 - 31/03/2015 09:35 - United States - Mabank

Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 372

You deserved it 3 871

By UnfortunatelySingle - 21/07/2015 06:15 - United States - Portland

Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 444

You deserved it 3 385

By WTF? - 12/08/2013 04:49 - United States - Mesa

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 359

You deserved it 6 556

By ali - 03/07/2012 11:51 - United States - Livingston

Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 321

You deserved it 46 689

jmsouthe7 3

Monday 3 August 2015 23:29

******* double standard

leopardwilliam 22

Monday 3 August 2015 23:30

How dare you use her words against her!

Comments

Guitargod446 11

Sunday 6 September 2015 3:02

Worth it, right?

vb68_fml 28

Wednesday 11 November 2015 7:59

You have progress to make until you understand women..,:)

trumpy 9

Thursday 7 January 2016 15:39

oh boy...its nice giving someone a taste of their own medicine..sorry it blew up in your face

ReeBruh 16

Sunday 14 February 2016 11:32

that's actually brilliant

stoneybadger78 6

Monday 9 January 2017 21:29

Definitely could have been me

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The Top

Today, just to have a chance of a future career, I had to major in Data Science. Here's to 2.5 more years of soul-crushing tedium and passionless abstraction. If I had the resources to control my own life, I would have been a tradesman so I wouldn't have to sacrifice 4 years of my life on this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 331

Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough for just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 465

You deserved it 13 482

The Top

Today, I found out that a female colleague thinks that because I got a vasectomy, I "got my balls chopped off." Then again, this woman also believes the cracks in her front brick fence are because her house is built on the equator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 110

Today, I was let go at work. About 2 years ago, we had hired an eager-to-learn "assistant" for me. When they canned me, they let me know that I should've trained him faster so I could've been fired sooner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 975

You deserved it 327

Today, my parents, my two sisters and their significant others went on a vacation and dropped their children at my house without ever asking me. I'm single, live alone, and can barely make ends meet, and they know it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 171

You deserved it 131

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. We were colouring, and she told me she wanted to draw a picture of me. After she was done, she showed me the picture. I'm drawn as a fat cow. The worst part is, the picture actually looks kinda like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 749

You deserved it 10 428

Today, I started a part-time job at a nursery. One of the kids asked me if I was single, so I explained to her that I am with another woman. My boss fired me on the spot for "acting inappropriately". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 486

You deserved it 1 284

Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 129

Same thing different taste

Who the **** are you?

Crossed wires

Bragging rights

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