Today, I smelled a terrible odor in my house. It seemed to be...

By Anonymous - 21/04/2017 21:00 - Italy

Today, I smelled a terrible odor in my house. It seemed to be coming from everywhere. At first, I thought it might be rotten food or a dead animal, then I realized it was my own breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 696

You deserved it 2 460

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Top comments

MitiMiki 16

Friday 21 April 2017 21:56

Joking aside, unless it was due to lack of oral hygiene, sudden onset of halitosis can be a sign of a more serious medical issue.

species4872 19

Friday 21 April 2017 21:16

Go visit the ex girlfriend. Tell her you want to talk.

Comments

Hippo_Holiday 19

Saturday 22 April 2017 8:19

If this is completely new, go see a dentist

wickedgetz 30

Saturday 22 April 2017 17:53

you know nowadays they make a thing called toothpaste, you should try it sometime.

Fatboy007 9

Thursday 27 April 2017 2:27

How much ass did u eat that weekend??

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The Top

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 660

You deserved it 3 777

Today, I received a package addressed to me. Excited, I opened it in front of my whole family. Inside was a box of adult toys that I definitely did not order. Turns out, my friend Mike thought it would be hilarious to send it to me as a joke. My grandma's face will haunt me forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 177

The Top

Today, my son brought home a fawn, saying it’s his new pet. I objected and told him to put it back in the woods, because the mom deer must be worried. He threw a tantrum, told me to stop getting in the way of their "bond” and stormed off to his room with it. He’s 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 084

You deserved it 263

Today, I traveled by plane for the first time. Once in the air, I was absolutely terrorized by the whole experience. Luckily, they had free booze on board, so I necked some to steady my nerves. Unfortunately, the vodka mixed with air turbulence made me spurt some vomit into my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 473

You deserved it 24 986

Today, I decided to not go to a strip club for the second Saturday in a row, because I didn't want to appear desperate in front of the strippers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 369

You deserved it 23 425

Today, I wanted to ask my girlfriend to marry me, so as she loves crosswords, I created my own where the answers spelled out "MARRY ME EVE." Unfortunately, it seems I made the clues a bit too difficult as she only solved two, gave up, and got mad at me for making her feel dumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 163

Today, it’s been four months since my cheating ex-girlfriend dumped me for someone else’s dick. She was offered a monthly six figure OnlyFans contract. Since then she’s been living life care-free while I struggle to pick up the pieces. Back to being single and still working my ass off to be broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 132

Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 918

You deserved it 438