Kids: Today, I spun a two year old upside down, in circles. She wasn't...

By Anonymous - 12/01/2012 18:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I spun a two year old upside down, in circles. She wasn't remotely dizzy. I threw up on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 620

You deserved it 11 077

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Same thing different taste

By hamboneghost - 24/02/2015 19:02 - Canada - New Westminster

Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 310

You deserved it 8 864

By laurwitharawr - 06/10/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 434

You deserved it 4 437

By Username - 06/11/2010 05:18 - France

Today, I was playing with my four month old daughter, flying her in the air like an airplane. I open my mouth saying 'Weeee', and she vomited on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 648

You deserved it 15 737

Splat!

By Anonymous - 02/07/2022 14:00

Today, because I have an inner ear problem which gives me major vertigo and nausea, I spontaneously projectile vomited all over my bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 88

Cropduster

By Sodge - 15/05/2009 10:20 - Australia

Today, I was impressing dinner guests by spinning my new baby in the air (something she loves), when she projectile vomited over the dinner table and the guests. My wife, who had spent three hours cooking was not impressed. Once of the guests was also a sympathy spewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 409

You deserved it 45 251

By WolfieJL - 18/05/2014 07:51 - United States

Today, my two year-old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two-hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 048

You deserved it 5 455

By emily074 - 23/08/2015 03:13 - United States - Salem

Today, the nine year old girl I was babysitting got the hiccups, so I told her to drink some water upside down to cure them. She ended up vomiting on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 159

You deserved it 11 932

By Anonymous - 18/09/2015 21:14 - United States - Jonesboro

Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 500

You deserved it 1 987

What goes up…

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 11:10 - United States - Grand Junction

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 769

You deserved it 10 797

By FML - 12/11/2009 07:14 - United States

Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 422

You deserved it 3 283

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:40

I like how this post sounds like you started spinning a random two year old you picked up off the street or something.

XxYingYangxX 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:33

What goes around must come... up?

Comments

DontModMeDammit 10

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:32

Looks like baby food huh?

Damn_Hippster 11

Thursday 12 January 2012 23:16

How do you manage to throw up on yourself?

xxmel 6

Friday 13 January 2012 0:31

#21 Maybe she threw up .. And wasn't over a toilet or garbage can. If you throw up standing up, it will get on you.

Kayokku 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:33

Lol, good job.

Fruit_Dealer 9

Thursday 12 January 2012 23:04

Unimpressed cat approves your cat-like IQ.

lindseykcool 6

Friday 13 January 2012 0:29

YDI, definitely.

XxYingYangxX 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:33

What goes around must come... up?

lendalynn 5

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:33

That's unfortunate..

angrymexican 8

Friday 13 January 2012 0:53

Is that why it's on FML?

kadesgb 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:35

Old

ZealIFeel 7

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:36

Or maybe the two year old spun you around upside down and that's why they weren't dizzy and you were O.o

mserrato 8

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:36

Vertigo?

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:40

I like how this post sounds like you started spinning a random two year old you picked up off the street or something.

dudeman1212 22

Friday 13 January 2012 3:52

Doesn't everyone?

dhardesty23 8

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:43

*note to self* do not spin kid in circles anymore. possibly enjoyable for kid but that's just too bad.

yourmurderscenex 13

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:44

lesson learned.

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The Top

Today, my brother's girlfriend came over to visit and we got to talking about books. Thinking she'd be interested, I suggested a few. She responded that she "only reads good literature." The only books I've ever seen her read are Fifty Shades of Gray and the Twilight saga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 125

Today, I told my son to get a job and start paying rent. Five minutes later he transferred me rent for the next 5 years. When I demanded to know where he got that kind of money, he showed me his bank statements. He’s made more money mining Bitcoin than I’ve made in 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 273

You deserved it 1 363

The Top

Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breath I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 090

You deserved it 4 743

Today, I went for like my tenth job interview this week and yet again I had some smug interviewer who expected me to have an expert level answer to every question he asked me, and yet when I asked him about salary all he would tell me was it was "competitive." So probably less than 50% minimum wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 86

Today, the 7 year old boy I was babysitting studied my upper lip and said "It's okay, my daddy won't let me shave yet either." I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 218

You deserved it 8 808

Today, I found out everyone in my neighborhood thinks that I'm a beaten woman due to the reoccurring ambulances in front of my house at night. My kid just chokes on everything, and they don't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 206

You deserved it 2 379

Today, I was eating lunch, and accidentally got ketchup on the sofa, so I hastily doused it with stain remover. The ketchup is now no longer there; however there is a larger stain in its place. I stained the sofa with stain remover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 291

You deserved it 4 755

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she found some lesbian porn on my computer. Her reasoning? That I must secretly be gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 654

You deserved it 11 623

Same thing different taste

Splat!

Cropduster

What goes up…

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