Health and Holidays: Today, I started 2018 with a bad case of food poisoning. Not...

By Wellpoo - 02/01/2018 19:00

Today, I started 2018 with a bad case of food poisoning. Not exactly the New Year's cleanse I was hoping for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 246

You deserved it 323

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/12/2010 05:16 - United States

Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 125

You deserved it 7 550

By Sickofbeingsick - 01/10/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, after a week of staying in at night and fighting off a persistent cold, I was finally feeling well again, so I decided to go to my boyfriend's work BBQ. I got food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 868

You deserved it 2 849

By ekoblick - 17/06/2011 04:34 - United States

Today, I got food poisoning from my wedding food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 359

You deserved it 3 923

By Anonymous - 28/05/2010 23:51 - United States

Today, I went out to eat to celebrate getting over the stomach flu. I hadn't eaten solid food in over a week, so I was really excited and ordered my favorite dish. It gave me food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 882

You deserved it 4 783

The blame game

By Anonymous - 18/02/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I got bad food poisoning. Again. The first time I thought it was the stomach bug that’s going around, so once I felt better, I proceeded to eat leftover food that actually got me sick the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 661

By sickday - 02/12/2018 17:30

Today, I took my first holiday from work in over 6 months as it was my birthday. Today was also the day I woke up and vomited violently for 10 straight hours as a result of food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 962

You deserved it 273

By All the ills - 15/02/2016 20:32 - United States - Geneva

Today, I was miserable with a cold. So I ordered soup and noodles from a new Chinese restaurant. Now I am miserable with a cold and food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 040

You deserved it 2 263

The squits

By Cliff - 11/10/2024 00:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 92

By why?? - 24/05/2016 13:29 - United States

Today, I think I've finally gotten past the food poisoning that caused me to puke so violently that I pulled muscles in my abdomen and chest. Unfortunately, some of that vomit hung around long enough to give me a sinus infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 575

You deserved it 1 369

By markzar - 05/05/2012 07:19 - United States - Amherst

Today, I had food poisoning. When I was finally able to drag myself to the kitchen for some Gatorade, I got stung by a wasp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 749

You deserved it 2 324

Symphoniaes 32

Tuesday 2 January 2018 20:37

I’m in the hospital with the flu right now so I feel you OP. Feel better soon!!

tonyfan00 38

Wednesday 3 January 2018 5:52

At least you still got a toilet roll left, right? ....oh yeah, the cat ate it, never mind...

Comments

Symphoniaes 32

Tuesday 2 January 2018 20:37

I’m in the hospital with the flu right now so I feel you OP. Feel better soon!!

Sentaru 7

Tuesday 2 January 2018 22:10

Well...that's a crappy way to start the year. But just think, it's all uphill from here!

exileonmainst 16

Wednesday 3 January 2018 0:20

Step 1. Apply black false eyelash glue to your rectum. Step 2. Sneeze. Problem solved!

Yudith 24

Wednesday 3 January 2018 0:56

At least you're on your way to attain one of your New Year resolutions; reach your goal weight.

acmariner99 25

Wednesday 3 January 2018 1:08

Your year is off and running

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 3 January 2018 2:05

Greatly phrased...I had the same issue...I know the feeling...

tonyfan00 38

Wednesday 3 January 2018 5:52

At least you still got a toilet roll left, right? ....oh yeah, the cat ate it, never mind...

heavenlyassbutt 11

Wednesday 3 January 2018 13:09

That's a shitty way go start the year.

AlysiaChanel 16

Wednesday 3 January 2018 22:16

Well i mean, its a start

Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Cars Relatable Work Mental health Awkward Social Media Love AITA Am I overreacting? Family Annoying Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Health Dentist Dogs Animals Cute Sleep Shopping My ex Cats Clothes Job interview Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 057

You deserved it 3 210

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 530

You deserved it 45 198

The Top

Today, a woman who I have spoken to approximately twice in my life, asked me out. I turned her down in the most harmless way I could. Three hours later, I found my car keyed and my windshield wipers gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 315

You deserved it 2 025

Today, I just found out that my ex girlfriend is gonna be my step mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 347

You deserved it 4 629

Today, what should have been a perfect spring picnic, turned into a living nightmare. A salad from Subway was filled with hair. It was in a to go bag and I didn’t feel like going all the way back to the Subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 185

Today, my mother asked me why her new airsoft gun wasn't working. I explained to her that it doesn't actually shoot air, it requires pellets too. She looked at me like I was too stupid to be her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 787

You deserved it 3 319

Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 102

You deserved it 6 230

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 924

You deserved it 7 349

Same thing different taste

The blame game

The squits

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