Miscellaneous: Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I'm a man.... - FML

By Mofisto - 15/02/2009 10:43 - United States

Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 250

You deserved it 89 009

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/04/2009 00:13 - United States

Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 673

You deserved it 7 421

Mistaken identity

By Anonymous - 15/05/2022 07:00 - Brazil - Fraiburgo

Today, after cutting my hair and shaving, I had girls hitting on me for the first time ever! Too bad they thought I was a butch lesbian, not a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 154

By Anonymous - 05/09/2015 04:58 - United States - Latrobe

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 501

You deserved it 2 387

By Jeff - 25/08/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 472

You deserved it 7 057

MMA FML

By ThatEndedWell - 07/01/2019 22:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 166

You deserved it 4 616

By Anonymous - 24/10/2012 10:51 - Australia - Croydon

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 316

You deserved it 1 904

By John - 30/06/2012 05:08 - United States - Watertown

Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 399

You deserved it 3 608

No means no

By Anonymous - 19/10/2022 22:00

Today, I got beat up at the bar. Why? I politely rejected a guy's sexual advances, so he turned to physical intimidation. I'm a soft-spoken 5'6 straight male. I've been ghosted by every woman I've talked to in the past two years. The only attention I've gotten is from men who can't take no for an answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 120

By Anonymous - 27/09/2009 04:10 - Canada

Today, I went to the bar to celebrate my friend's birthday party. I gave the bouncer my ID and he kicked me out, saying that I should at least use an ID card with the correct gender. I'm 22 and female, he thought I was an underage boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 524

You deserved it 3 989

By Noname - 18/03/2009 01:24 - United States

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384 155

You deserved it 36 188

Next

Top comments

Arbosis 0

Monday 16 February 2009 5:08

wtf why where you in a lesbian bar?

that_one_guy 0

Sunday 15 February 2009 15:54

I bet he was doing the highly credited and validated attack plan of "scoping out for bis." Of course I'm kidding about highly credited and validated bit but never the less. And I wouldn't worry to much about you loosing the fight, unless some mates saw it happen, some of those women can be pretty fierce.

Comments

Arbosis 0

Monday 16 February 2009 5:08

wtf why where you in a lesbian bar?

lazorzpewpew 0

Monday 16 February 2009 17:31

Reminds me of the "butch" scene from Boondock Saints.

Jessaly_fml 0

Monday 16 February 2009 20:44

I so wish I was there to see this.

babycherry412 0

Monday 16 February 2009 21:14

dude...not to be rude but 1. u had no business fightin with girls 2. why were u in a gay bar anyway 3. how could u have possibly lost???

dolphinlvr7 24

Tuesday 19 April 2016 13:11

Maybe because some girls can actually kick ass...

withered 30

Wednesday 6 July 2016 12:04

"How could you have possibly lost" - are you serious? Surely you can't be. Your genitalia do not make you strong or a good fighter. You training and skills do.

sensual_kidney 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 5:28

serious question - are lesbians women in the same regard (the no hitting rule and all) and more specifically butch lesbians. Cause they are manly as hell. More so that some men. And plus, its cool to strike a woman with an open hand. Don't start fights with lesbians, they're all packin', fyi

sensual_kidney 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 5:32

o and i was kiddin about the open hand bit :)

necomni 0

Thursday 19 February 2009 2:51

WOW, good going. I hope you learned your lesson reconsidered the notion of "I will win, because I am a man." Haha. FYL.

stupidLes 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 23:56

LOL Deserved... Sorry for not being there :D

i_am_tiff_21 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 3:27

I'm glad you did lose.

North49 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 20:28

lol... you are epic.

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The Top

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 127

You deserved it 3 083

Today, my dad has been faking social anxiety to make me feel like there's something wrong with me. How do I know? Because I actually have social anxiety, and he not only shows no symptoms of it, but he also has a lot of misconceptions about it that he would know are false if he actually did have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 180

The Top

Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 002

You deserved it 4 478

Today, the girl I’ve been trying to date not only agreed to a date, she invited me back to her place because the date went so well. We were kissing so hard, I struggled to breathe, I coughed, gagged, then vomited my seafood dinner all over her yellow sofa. It all went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 205

Today, I went for a run. I noticed a really hot guy mowing his lawn. I ran a couple of laps past him. After a while, when I slowed down, I smiled at him, and he said, "You look really hot." I thanked him, and he quickly replied, "No, I mean you're sweating a lot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 498

You deserved it 51 813

Today, my boyfriend was seated in my section at work. As he sees me his face drops... he's on a date. He had forgotten I work there. I had to serve him and his date, and they didn't leave a tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 759

You deserved it 3 543

Today, I was diagnosed with a chest infection and given antibiotics to take. One of the side effects of the antibiotics is diarrhea. I haven't coughed once throughout the infection, but I sneezed just as I was ready to go out to the shops and now I need fresh underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 96

Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 658

You deserved it 3 870