Miscellaneous: Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I'm a man.... - FML

By Mofisto - 15/02/2009 10:43 - United States

Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 250

You deserved it 89 009

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Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/04/2009 00:13 - United States

Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 673

You deserved it 7 421

Mistaken identity

By Anonymous - 15/05/2022 07:00 - Brazil - Fraiburgo

Today, after cutting my hair and shaving, I had girls hitting on me for the first time ever! Too bad they thought I was a butch lesbian, not a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 154

By Anonymous - 05/09/2015 04:58 - United States - Latrobe

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 501

You deserved it 2 387

By Jeff - 25/08/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 472

You deserved it 7 057

MMA FML

By ThatEndedWell - 07/01/2019 22:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 166

You deserved it 4 616

By Anonymous - 24/10/2012 10:51 - Australia - Croydon

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 316

You deserved it 1 904

By John - 30/06/2012 05:08 - United States - Watertown

Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 399

You deserved it 3 608

No means no

By Anonymous - 19/10/2022 22:00

Today, I got beat up at the bar. Why? I politely rejected a guy's sexual advances, so he turned to physical intimidation. I'm a soft-spoken 5'6 straight male. I've been ghosted by every woman I've talked to in the past two years. The only attention I've gotten is from men who can't take no for an answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 120

By Anonymous - 27/09/2009 04:10 - Canada

Today, I went to the bar to celebrate my friend's birthday party. I gave the bouncer my ID and he kicked me out, saying that I should at least use an ID card with the correct gender. I'm 22 and female, he thought I was an underage boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 524

You deserved it 3 989

By Noname - 18/03/2009 01:24 - United States

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384 155

You deserved it 36 188

Next

Top comments

Arbosis 0

Monday 16 February 2009 5:08

wtf why where you in a lesbian bar?

that_one_guy 0

Sunday 15 February 2009 15:54

I bet he was doing the highly credited and validated attack plan of "scoping out for bis." Of course I'm kidding about highly credited and validated bit but never the less. And I wouldn't worry to much about you loosing the fight, unless some mates saw it happen, some of those women can be pretty fierce.

Comments

crazy_diva 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 3:17

DUDE Women own. Of course you lost.

omnomnom_fml 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 23:52

That's what you get for assuming a woman can't kick a man's ass.

cloudkittycat 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 7:43

Lesbian bar. Why would you be there if you have a penis (and always have had one)? Douchebag.

tashtash18 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 10:27

lmao..sorry haha well some females are man-like...

paulfolio 0

Friday 1 May 2009 19:08

HAHAHAHA! Pussy!

candyxpopcorn 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 22:14

Go Girls!

wax_soup 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:52

BALLS BALLS BALLZ BALLS BALLS OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

dan81892 2

Monday 18 May 2009 22:51

why is everyone calling him a woman? even if he did start it, it was probably like 1 vs. 30

opihoih 0

Monday 25 May 2009 0:20

you're just a huge pussy

TheDummyTosser 0

Monday 1 June 2009 5:40

Oh, don't mess with those lesbians, most WILL kick your ass if provoked. Especially those extreme-feminist ones.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Management Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 021

You deserved it 3 405

Today, my family has been unsuccessfully trying to stop my sister's energy drink addiction. She's not even 30, but the doctors say her heart health (or lack thereof) is roughly equivalent to a person over twice her age. She probably won't even live to 40 at this rate, which makes us sad. Why won't she listen to us? FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 75

The Top

Today, I managed to not laugh as a potential high-profile Italian client with a heavy accent repeatedly pronounced "sheet metal" as "shit metal". Unfortunately, my boss and a senior colleague couldn't contain their own laughter. We lost that deal, and our jobs are now endangered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 775

You deserved it 5 140

Today, I finally found the girl of my dreams, she's smart, loyal, energetic and adorable. There's one problem. She's a Golden Retreiver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 88

Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 097

You deserved it 7 572

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 340

You deserved it 18 963

Today, it's my first day off in over two months. My colleagues disagree - they won't stop calling me. I'm not allowed to turn my phone off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 605

You deserved it 172

At least he's got an FML to share!

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 175