Miscellaneous: Today, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up behind my dad and...

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 08:29 - Australia - Perth

Today, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up behind my dad and yell "BOO!" to scare him. He didn't even flinch. All he did was calmly look over his shoulder and sigh, "Oh for fuck's sake. And you wonder why I don't love you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 131

You deserved it 4 176

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Same thing different taste

By gengiskarn69 - 12/03/2012 14:55 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 975

You deserved it 38 680

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 15:44 - United States

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 580

You deserved it 2 558

By stupidprankster - 09/03/2012 10:10 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to scare my dad for once, since he has scared me for fun dozens of times. It would have been funny, had he not punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 498

You deserved it 7 491

By not gay in AL - 11/05/2014 17:57 - United States

Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 390

You deserved it 5 486

By idonteven - 12/08/2013 20:04 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 031

You deserved it 4 486

By Anonymous - 08/08/2015 05:18 - Canada

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 554

You deserved it 2 159

By Anonymous - 15/05/2015 23:55 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 747

You deserved it 2 382

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 02:45 - United States

Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 218

You deserved it 6 252

By Anonymous - 26/09/2014 20:00 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 014

You deserved it 3 044

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 23:13 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 700

You deserved it 5 699

UnluckyLatina 22

Sunday 27 December 2015 7:09

Is your name Eric Forman by any chance?

YouEatDiarrhea 13

Sunday 27 December 2015 7:04

I love you, OP :)

Comments

leadmenot 11

Monday 28 December 2015 3:44

No chill

Timber147 9

Monday 28 December 2015 4:59

I'm sure he didn't mean it. He was just trying to be funny. He should quit his day job..

Mukzac 2

Tuesday 29 December 2015 18:13

Your old man is one of a kind

jgmack27 8

Thursday 31 December 2015 5:38

:-O WTF!?!

Kotine 11

Friday 1 January 2016 6:54

I'm sorry for laughing my dad would probably say the same to me and I'd laugh at that too

lilbud92 3

Saturday 2 January 2016 14:09

For some reason I read this in a Irish accent

cheesemonger 4

Tuesday 2 February 2016 21:05

This is your ass. This is your ass, handed to you on a silver platter. Questions?

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The Top

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 780

You deserved it 4 168

Today, I hit off with a guy I met on Tumblr, and we moved to Discord to chat. We're just friends, but have things in common. Then I accidentally called him while he was driving by clicking the wrong button, because I forgot how to search things up. Now he thinks I'm a creep. Time to build my walls back up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 155

The Top

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 781

You deserved it 6 526

Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 996

You deserved it 4 397

Today, I sucked so bad that I faked an injury during a football game to get out of playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 635

Today, I had to walk through the blistering snow, because my boss needed something really important: cream cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 206

You deserved it 2 977

Today, I got pulled over by the cops for swerving a lot while driving. I tried to explain that my dog bit the back of my neck, but as soon as I opened my door to show him the bite marks and the dog, it ran out of the car. I still can't find him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 396

You deserved it 2 164

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 734

You deserved it 8 005

Same thing different taste

Thanks, I hate it

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