Miscellaneous: Today, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up behind my dad and...

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 08:29 - Australia - Perth

Today, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up behind my dad and yell "BOO!" to scare him. He didn't even flinch. All he did was calmly look over his shoulder and sigh, "Oh for fuck's sake. And you wonder why I don't love you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 131

You deserved it 4 176

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By gengiskarn69 - 12/03/2012 14:55 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 975

You deserved it 38 680

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 15:44 - United States

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 580

You deserved it 2 558

By stupidprankster - 09/03/2012 10:10 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to scare my dad for once, since he has scared me for fun dozens of times. It would have been funny, had he not punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 498

You deserved it 7 491

By not gay in AL - 11/05/2014 17:57 - United States

Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 390

You deserved it 5 486

By idonteven - 12/08/2013 20:04 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 031

You deserved it 4 486

By Anonymous - 08/08/2015 05:18 - Canada

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 554

You deserved it 2 159

By Anonymous - 15/05/2015 23:55 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 747

You deserved it 2 382

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 02:45 - United States

Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 218

You deserved it 6 252

By Anonymous - 26/09/2014 20:00 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 014

You deserved it 3 044

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 23:13 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 700

You deserved it 5 699

UnluckyLatina 22

Sunday 27 December 2015 7:09

Is your name Eric Forman by any chance?

YouEatDiarrhea 13

Sunday 27 December 2015 7:04

I love you, OP :)

Comments

nash1991 20

Sunday 27 December 2015 7:32

At least he didn't elbow your teeth out

Oppression_fml 19

Sunday 27 December 2015 7:44

Someone's sneak skills are low!

ShadowStarEXE 35

Sunday 27 December 2015 8:24

That was pretty harsh. Don't worry, OP, I bet there's better people in your life who love you. :)

Hildy93 21

Sunday 27 December 2015 8:45

Is your dad Mr Buzzkillington?

dman798 18

Sunday 27 December 2015 9:31

When reality strikes

estrada813 11

Sunday 27 December 2015 9:57

I'm sorry but this is just too funny

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Sunday 27 December 2015 10:08

OP's dad scared him enough that he wrote an FML about it. I'm gonna give this one a YDI cause OP obviously isn't as good at this as his dad.

theRonin 18

Sunday 27 December 2015 10:27

Ouch... That's a pretty harsh thing to say to your own child.

G6Fari 18

Sunday 27 December 2015 10:28

The fact that he didn't flinch, makes him badass af. But I love you OP

GhostFox 33

Sunday 27 December 2015 10:43

Wow. I am both impressed at OP's Dad's lack of reaction and want to drop an anvil on his testicles from 30 feet up.

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Cute Haircut Miscellaneous Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting DIY Cats Family Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Management Poopoo peepee Coworkers Frustration Capitalism Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Anxiety Technology

The Top

Today, I was on my way home from a friend's house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know I was on my way. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 074

You deserved it 6 726

Today, I had awesome sex with my ex. Again. I broke up with her a few weeks ago as she admittedly hadn't been attracted to me anymore in a long time. Now she says that after we broke up she doesn't feel any pressure anymore, and can enjoy sex with me again like she did before she moved in with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 199

The Top

Today, my family is supposed to be enjoying a day with my in-laws. The drawback? I have to spend time with my stepmom-in-law who is a conspiracy theorist, and my stepsister-in-law who has an unvaccinated 3 year-old who’s been sick a lot lately and looks like death. I have a 4 year-old and a newborn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 310

Today, a woman somehow managed to drop her wedding ring into the garbage at the fast food place where I work. I had to search through a full bag of half eaten food and soda to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 335

You deserved it 2 737

Today, I received the sweetest love letter from my boyfriend after having a bad day. After gushing about it and reading it to my friends, they said it reminded them of a letter that they'd seen online. He got it from a fill-in-the-blank love letter generator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 487

You deserved it 5 499

Today, I was making a smoothie. I didn't plug in the blender until after all the ingredients were inside. I pushed the 'on' button. It was still on when I went to plug it in. With no lid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 417

You deserved it 33 335

Today, I was tasked with taking a photo of my best friend getting engaged. As her boyfriend got down on one knee, I got so nervous that I fumbled the camera. It landed right in the lake. I didn’t get a single picture, and now I owe them a new Canon EOS R10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 518

Today, the closest I got to a vacation was the smell of my new towels, because they remind me of a hotel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 753

You deserved it 2 474

Same thing different taste

Thanks, I hate it

Top comments

Comments