Work: Today, I thought that working as a lifeguard I would be saving...

By TheLifguard95 - 26/04/2016 23:49 - United Kingdom

Today, I thought that working as a lifeguard I would be saving lives, rescuing people and things along those lines. What do I get told to do on my first shift? Clean all the fecal matter and hair out the pool. I almost threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 989

You deserved it 1 689

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Same thing different taste

By heyyoitsapotato - 31/05/2013 02:35 - United States

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 136

You deserved it 3 300

Stress factor 11

By Jonoq - 04/10/2019 16:00 - Canada

Today, in a 2-hour period at work, I had to talk to the cops, clean up shit and clean up vomit, yet none of these events were related. The worst part is, I work as a lifeguard and none of this is in the job description. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 483

You deserved it 126

By corn - 03/06/2011 01:44 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 293

You deserved it 3 297

Cute

By benjo - 06/08/2013 18:07 - United States

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 056

You deserved it 4 844

Bad moon rising

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Salem

Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 93

By lifeguard down - 01/08/2010 04:23 - United States

Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 715

You deserved it 13 318

Baywatched out

By Username - 01/09/2010 00:35 - France

Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 758

You deserved it 10 039

By Anonymous - 04/07/2014 19:04 - Netherlands

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 954

You deserved it 3 437

By Anonymous - 29/05/2012 18:43 - United States - Springfield

Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 366

You deserved it 2 177

By Anonymous - 25/03/2014 21:53 - United States - Springboro

Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 516

You deserved it 3 845

Tripartita 44

Wednesday 27 April 2016 14:04

Congrats, sounds like you're in the "wax-on, wax-off" phase of your training. It starts with cleaning fecal matter and hair out of the pool, but eventually your seasoned old instructor will reveal that he's been subconsciously training you to save lives the whole time.

Burton_Forever 23

Wednesday 27 April 2016 14:00

Someone has to do it if you weren't the new guy another new guy would have to do it, remember nothing in life is handed to you. You must work for what you want in life.

Comments

LowExpectations 30

Wednesday 27 April 2016 15:14

This is exactly why I don't go any where near public pools. Good luck to you OP. Eventually you'll be one of "the guys" at work and the next newbie will get dookie patrol.

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 27 April 2016 15:56

Everyone moves up in line...when you have a new trainee they will take your place...

catanita 18

Wednesday 27 April 2016 15:57

Some people are so disgusting. Why do they poop in the pool? I bet there is a toilet near by.

anyagrande 31

Wednesday 27 April 2016 16:15

Its usually little children who's parents are too lazy to put a pool nappy on them

SixthSinEnvy 39

Wednesday 27 April 2016 16:43

This is why I don't swim in public swimming pools. The saying is true, it's like swimming in a giant toilet.

Dale_shackleford 13

Wednesday 27 April 2016 22:15

At least the toilet probably gets flushed every now and then.

CallMeMonica 15

Wednesday 27 April 2016 16:01

You're also an overqualified babysitter just so you know.

anyagrande 31

Wednesday 27 April 2016 16:10

Not really????

GreenMango 2

Thursday 28 April 2016 21:37

Oh my gosh; YES! I've been a lifeguard for 11 years and a pool manager for 7 of those years! Some parents have no idea what's going on with their kids while they're at the pool! I've saved kids from drowning and half the parents don't even know what happened; so we have to page the parents to the front desk to fill out water rescue reports! And then you have the parents that drop kids off at the pool all day (from open to close). ^^If the kid is old enough to take care of themselves that's fine, but don't leave your 9 year olds with us if they don't have sunscreen; food or water; or no money to buy food or water.

danman27 15

Wednesday 27 April 2016 16:33

Hey, that means no one is drowning

Baynality 2

Wednesday 27 April 2016 16:59

As someone who's been lifeguarding for 7 years; you see it, you deal with it, regardless of how long you've been doing the job. Not to mention your primary function at a pool is prevention. If you're saving lives and doing rescues on the daily, or even monthly, you're doing your job wrong.