Kids: Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her.... - FML

By Username - 13/09/2010 01:38 - France

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 377

You deserved it 31 410

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Aldoch - 30/05/2012 22:41

Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 045

You deserved it 4 841

By Anonymous - 29/03/2013 01:13 - United States - Sunnyvale

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 204

You deserved it 18 847

By Black Cat 13 - 04/09/2010 06:52 - United States

Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 139

You deserved it 3 515

In the doghouse

By Anonymous - 14/10/2024 16:00

Today, my toddler started running around the house yelling, "Daddy said a bad word!" over and over again. I don't even know what I allegedly said, but now my wife is giving me the "we need to talk" look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 91

Fight Club Penguin

By mama bear - 05/06/2020 20:00

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 029

You deserved it 224

By Wmsys32pr9 - 30/03/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273 893

You deserved it 30 899

It's not what you think

By shway - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 966

You deserved it 7 442

By tenthousandspoon - 13/09/2010 00:08 - New Zealand

Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 840

You deserved it 3 055

Not her fault nor mine

By Shut up loser! - 02/12/2019 03:00

Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 535

You deserved it 462

By jessi - 02/12/2011 13:22 - United States

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 153

You deserved it 6 675

Next

Top comments

Mclovin_95 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:03

haha what a little bitch xD

3ddie_the_head 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:04

Smart ass kid.

Comments

notsofriendly 17

Wednesday 15 September 2010 10:32

Well. Did you?

jackie31337 0

Wednesday 15 September 2010 10:38

YDI for spanking your kid. Spanking only teaches kids that it's right for bigger, stronger, people to hurt them to get their way. Good on your 3 year old for not being afraid of you any more.

haha89 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 6:40

How else would you teach them? You can't really reason with a three year old.

LuCanO 0

Wednesday 15 September 2010 17:13

This has to be one of the funniest FMLs ever, discipline is sometimes needed, I mean is not necessary to beat a 3 years old girl hard nor anything like that, but you should at least try to inspire respect if not awe on your kid.

MoobyTheCow 2

Wednesday 15 September 2010 18:56

You can't bluff kids. Never threaten unless you're prepared to follow through. If you're not actually planning to hit the kid, don't say you're going to hit her. Threaten, say, a time out, and when she says "bring it" you say "ok" and do it.

ruthieyouidiot 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 2:19

hahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahha... hahahahahahahhahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahha.

damian25 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 2:31

that deserves a back hand! lolz jk

Clutzs 5

Thursday 16 September 2010 4:40

so what? just bring it

cakeftw 0

Friday 17 September 2010 0:32

ROFL. xD

SympathyearAbs 0

Friday 17 September 2010 19:19

Your daughter is a BAMF!

bluekiwi_fml 0

Sunday 19 September 2010 2:02

hahahahahahhaahahahahhahahahahahhah (this would go on forever)

18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I was working a concert ticket booth. A lady gave me her ticket, I punched it, and told her to enjoy the show. She asked for the “hotel.” Apparently, she thought that the concert ticket cost included a hotel stay, since she traveled from out of state. She cussed me out and had to be escorted out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 333

You deserved it 76

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 2 715

The Top

Today, I sent my grandfather a picture of me because he hasn't seen me in years. I guess I should wear makeup next time, because he sent back a heavily photoshopped and cropped version and told me how beautiful I look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 406

You deserved it 950

Today, my boyfriend's family offered me the trip of a lifetime visiting their families overseas. My mother threw a tantrum, telling me that it was my fault that she was never able to travel, it was my fault that she got pregnant with me and had to marry my abusive father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 883

You deserved it 111

Today, I asked my friend to hand in my homework for me since I have tonsillitis. She thought it would be funny to draw a big heart on it with my teacher's name inside, which she then handed in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 199

You deserved it 604

Today, exactly 28 days after I started my last period, I started a new period. This would be perfectly healthy and normal except that my last period was 24 days long. This has happened every month this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 520

You deserved it 312

Today, after asking my boyfriend multiple times to be more kind and romantic, he looked at me lovingly and said, "You know, you look pretty sometimes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 165

Today, my boss reprimanded me in front of the rest of the staff for "not following instructions" because I went to a company meeting. I have the email from him telling me to go to the meeting. He thinks I faked it. Unemployment sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 058

You deserved it 1 729