Kids: Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response...

By Baby eater - 20/05/2014 00:00 - United States - Clarksville

Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response was to attack me with a stick "for swallowing a baby." Three people had to pull him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 511

You deserved it 5 832

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Same thing different taste

This boy

By GirlinGreen - 30/04/2009 01:34 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a four year-old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me, and that I should go die and never come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 451

You deserved it 18 512

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 560

You deserved it 4 699

By poormom - 27/06/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 110

You deserved it 28 918

Straight to jail

By anon - 15/07/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 000

You deserved it 70 968

By Anonymous - 16/09/2014 17:44 - Netherlands - Haarlem

Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 034

You deserved it 5 271

By mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 279

You deserved it 3 559

Not her fault nor mine

By Shut up loser! - 02/12/2019 03:00

Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 535

You deserved it 462

By imnotastranger - 09/05/2014 03:01

Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 621

You deserved it 6 931

Hellooooo, Social Services?

By whatisthisshit - 17/03/2017 00:00

Today, I spent two hours convincing my 3-year-old son that he can't poop on his 4-month-old brother out of retaliation for the baby pooping on him. He did it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 471

You deserved it 734

Rite of passage

By tortilla - 28/11/2020 16:58 - United States - Petaluma

Today, I got punched after telling my 11-year-old cousin that her period is "coming for her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 1 271

omgitsmoe 26

Tuesday 20 May 2014 11:01

Why did you eat that baby ?

froggyjade 16

Tuesday 20 May 2014 11:02

3 people? That's one strong 4 year old

Comments

8oded8 8

Wednesday 21 May 2014 21:20

I'm guessing that the baby wasn't the only thing you swallowed

BooItsLauren 4

Wednesday 21 May 2014 23:58

Why would you tell your four year old neighbor? Congrats anyways:)

grapefruit_hd 7

Thursday 22 May 2014 1:52

My brother thought the same thing when he was younger. You get pregnant from eating a baby

Tannasgh 22

Thursday 22 May 2014 6:07

Idiot child...

mikaellikestacos 14

Thursday 22 May 2014 6:39

I hope the baby is ok

sempisaviour 17

Thursday 22 May 2014 7:42

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

lina21 12

Thursday 22 May 2014 8:19

That's a scary ass 4 year old. Hopefully it will just be a bizarre, but funny story when he's older and not a precursor

dDailydDosage 8

Thursday 22 May 2014 15:57

Kinda cute in a creepy way... Lil people got to stick together!

CarouselHeart 11

Thursday 22 May 2014 20:23

That is not cool. I would have smacked it. FYL.

ruxtain 15

Friday 23 May 2014 5:13

Kids are imaginary

Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 2 713

You deserved it 167

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I agree, your life sucks 35 378

You deserved it 2 576

Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 736

You deserved it 7 802

Today, I gave my wife a $900 necklace as a special Christmas gift. She gave me a set of Star Wars pajamas. As it turns out, I was more excited to wear my gift than she was to wear hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 301

You deserved it 5 859

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I agree, your life sucks 51 694

You deserved it 4 706

Today, my mum prepared my bag for football practice. In the changing room I found one of her thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 360

You deserved it 4 527