Miscellaneous: Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed...

By brenami - 31/12/2010 06:13 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 946

You deserved it 7 756

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Same thing different taste

Shit eating grin

By lame - 31/12/2009 05:02 - Canada

Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 405

You deserved it 22 012

By embarassed - 12/10/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 499

You deserved it 6 824

By Kamburgler - 02/07/2011 06:33 - United States

Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 390

You deserved it 5 725

By traumatized - 18/06/2009 05:26 - United States

Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 229

You deserved it 3 613

By amore89 - 28/07/2019 12:00

Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 884

You deserved it 243

People disprove

By matt - 12/03/2021 08:01

Today, I, a forty year-old man, went to the store with my teenage daughter and infant son. I got some very dirty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 132

By Ann - 18/06/2009 19:40 - United States

Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 550

You deserved it 5 480

By EmbarrassedChild - 30/07/2015 23:24 - United States

Today, I was at the store with my father. As we were leaving, he grabbed a baguette, put it by his crotch, and took a picture with his phone. I'm starting to feel like the parent here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 385

You deserved it 1 927

Gummy

By madeleine - 08/04/2021 05:00

Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 675

You deserved it 292

Check these out

By Groom - 30/11/2008 10:51 - France

Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 092

You deserved it 12 386

darkmis1 17

Friday 31 December 2010 16:22

Why did you mention that you had your daughter with you? What does that have to do with it?

MoldinRooster 0

Friday 31 December 2010 12:31

Wouldn't You Taste It?

Comments

jkwanx88x 0

Friday 31 December 2010 13:00

hillbilly lol

strawberrycancer 0

Friday 31 December 2010 13:04

YDI for being a MILF- and for flirting back to a boy who is probably your daughters age.

Zemmiphobia 11

Tuesday 7 May 2013 19:30

I got the impression OPs daughter is younger.

malcolmturner15 0

Friday 31 December 2010 13:42

I disagree with #15 there I've lirted plenty of milfs in front of the kids some even looking my own age....

wriptidez 0

Friday 31 December 2010 14:04

oh not a fml

x_missystaceey 0

Friday 31 December 2010 15:19

buck tooth people are funny :)

darkmis1 17

Friday 31 December 2010 16:22

Why did you mention that you had your daughter with you? What does that have to do with it?

barbiegirl491 1

Friday 5 August 2011 7:40

Exactly what I was thinking..

Zemmiphobia 11

Tuesday 7 May 2013 19:31

Emphasize her amazement that the bag boy was hitting on her most likely.

crisco5105 1

Friday 31 December 2010 17:12

thanks for adding to the steriotypes of people from Louisiana. MOST of us do clean our teeth lol

Kovey 0

Friday 31 December 2010 17:22

FML..........

skyeyez9 24

Friday 31 December 2010 19:39

How do you not feel or taste chocolate that is completely covering your tooth?

ambermary101 6

Friday 31 December 2010 20:09

yay I live in Louisiana too!

Keywords

Shoes Miscellaneous Clothes Relatable Transportation Cars Insurance Work Health Love Cheating Food Awkward Clumsy Embarrassing Animals First Dates Dating Bikes Cute Dogs Ironic Pranks Shopping Mistakes Texting Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, I learned that when you stand up to a bully in a bar, it never ends like it does in the movies, the bully doesn’t get knocked out, and you don’t get the girl. What you get is a trip to hospital, banned from the bar, and the girl goes home with the bully while you lie in the ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 543

Today, on a movie date with my boyfriend, it took me a while to understand why he was leaning on his elbow during the entire thing. He had an earpiece cupped in his hand and was listening to a soccer match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 228

You deserved it 1 706

The Top

Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 065

You deserved it 384

Today, I realized that over the past few months, I seem to be getting more and more prone to bumping into things, and tripping over nothing. I'm also apparently more prone to getting injured when this happens. I've always been uncoordinated, but this is getting out of hand. I'm falling apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 116

Today, I've reached a level of tired I didn't think was possible. I've had less than 3 hours sleep in the last 72 hours and have not slept more than 20 minutes each stretch because my newborn is so unsettled. The baby has been peacefully sleeping for the last 3 hours and I can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 072

You deserved it 312

Today, my coworker, who I'm secretly in love with, asked me what my plans for the weekend were. I thought she might have been about to ask me out, so I said that I had no plans. She then rolled her eyes and said that she hates talking to, "boring people who shut down every conversation starter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 481

You deserved it 1 653

Today, a close friend came over with her three-year-old son. The child used a crayon on the walls, flushed my money down the toilet, and threw up. My friend was seriously offended when I asked her to help me clean everything up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 752

You deserved it 1 768

Today, my wife told me that if she had a penny for every time I had brought her to climax she'd have change for a nickel. We've been married for 16 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 269

You deserved it 12 898