Always get it in writing

I'm with some of the other people on here. Your boss knows that he verbally approved your time off. Tell him that he can either honor his words, or you will be going anyway. If you are a good employee, they will not want to lose you.

OP here! So, details. First of all, yes, of course I know that a verbal confirmation isn't binding. We have an online system where you have to 'book' it and then your scheduler will approve it when they find cover (someone has to physically be in the office always). I had spoken to my scheduler almost 2 months ago how if I did this and swapped that etc., I could fly home slightly earlier which would save me literally hundreds of pounds in tickets. I put the request in about a month ago (so giving an additional month of notice). Never in my time here have any of my requests been denied, I gave lots of notice and we'd had a discussion about why this is a slightly special occasion, and I've helped them out loads with last minute covers etc., so I had no reason to think she wouldn't eventually cover it. She has managed to cover 2/3 days and this one is right in the middle. The reason there is no cover is because they haven't managed to fill the whole team in a YEAR which means that my side of the shift is always covered with freelancers, so these shifts were covered first. There are also some people who freelance in multiple departments in the same company and because my scheduler left it too late, they're already snatched up by those teams. So, basically, if they'd covered the vacant shifts sooner, this situation wouldn't have happened.

Man **** it. If you did ALL that, take your damn flight and go see you family. Your reputation speak for itself, you can always find new work; money is a material possession. Family is where it's at and important, especially as you get older. Remember they make more money that you ever will so what's the loss?

Maybe Hallmark will make a movie about you now.

Despite everything you said and did I would not have spent the money on tickets until you had it in writing. Another alternative that would also usually protect you would be to send a reminder eMail to your boss documenting all details of the verbal agreement in writing. State that your tickets must be purchased by (insert date) and the full purchase price (unrefundable) and that unless you receive written notice that your verbal agreement cannot be honored prior to planned date, then you cannot be expected to work during the Holiday. If your company has an HR dept. cc: them and/or some other manager connected to your boss. That should provoke a response. Unfortunately there's always the risk that your boss may reply that she has not yet been able to cover your shift. But if the boss does not reply on time you are likely safely covered, even if the boss has not found anyone yet. You could also ad in writing that if for some reason they must rescind your scheduled vacation that you expect your cost outlay to be reimbursed promptly in full. Failure to reply indicates acceptance etc, etc Sincerely, Jamie

screw that i would have gone anyway