Perv

By niquey62307 - 08/12/2009 03:36 - United States

Spicy
Today, I found out my neighbor has been watching my husband and I have sex for the 2 years we've been married. He slaps his sausage and smokes 5 cigarettes while he watches. FML
I agree, your life sucks 24 355
You deserved it 5 783
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Top comments

docsigma 8

...five? Your husband's got mad endurance!

111 3
Andrewl_FML 0

Is "slaps his sausage" slang for masterbating or is he ACTUALLY slapping a sausage. I personally think if he was literally slapping a sausage while watching you have sex would be so much funnier!

104 2

Comments

wasted0087 0

Because that's how long they last... Or how long he lasts beatin' his meat

3 0
terranada 3

they're called curtains. learn to use them

6 1
tatababe 1

for 2 years these ppl haven't had curtains wow what's wring with the world

0 2
kendalkj 0

next time close your blinds and it won't be a free Porno for the old man.. and first

10 32
Otto12 0

btw, ur not first, and if u even were, noone cares.why is it such an accomplishment to be first, while some people are fighting for a greater good, protecting their country, or helping people in, say Haiti. go get a life

6 19
JAT070 0

that's a compliment in my book

2 2
krasian 0

but get a restraining order and better shades

6 24
automatedeffemel 0

It didn't occur to you to but curtains for 2 years? Or even crazier, that someone can see you and your husband shag with the windows wide open?

61 1
marc_with_a_c 3

yeah seriously.. once in a while I can understand, but if he could see everytime, then it's your own fault for not closing the curtains/blinds, or for not noticing the view from your window that goes to his window

11 1
White667 0

Also five cigarettes? No foreplay then I guess?

2 9
time4coffee 3

YDI Keep blinds, I'm assuming you're in a city, common situation. But why are you watching back during sex to know it's 5 cigs and he's slapping the sausage. Sex must be pretty bad if you have to watch him

8 3
CannedSausages 0

Is anyone else wondering how she knows this? I smell a fake....

13 1
corbincorbin 0

she also could have told him to stop or something and the creepy neighbor told her he does this while he watches

2 8
jbwoy 0

i agree with the comments next time make sure the blinds are closed lol for all you know he made a tape of this

13 0
XxbladixX 0

ewww that's gross maybe now you know to close the blinds before sex. ;)

2 5
docsigma 8

...five? Your husband's got mad endurance!

111 3
niggercakes 14

I interpreted it as five at the same time

1 0
smjstevens 0

I would too if you left your windows open for the world to see. YDI

8 1
DynamicDave 11

Lol "slaps his sausage"! Never heard that one before!

37 1
perdix 29

Oh, come on, if you had non-ugly neighbors who regularly had sex in plain view, wouldn't you watch? Of course, that is if there's nothing good on TV or there are no FML's that scream for comment. And might you also get a bit excited from the show and seek some release by choking the chicken? C'mon, truth! But, smoking?!?!?!? Eeeeewww .... disgusting!

12 1