Kids: Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger...

By notsoproudfather - 01/02/2016 15:54 - India - Pune

Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 019

You deserved it 2 315

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Same thing different taste

By wah wah "you raised him" - 22/04/2014 18:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 802

You deserved it 5 269

By Chan - 23/01/2010 03:16 - United States

Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 112

You deserved it 40 572

Good smell

By smellslikeroses - 30/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Oxnard

Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 1 916

Daddy's in the shit again

By habbsrule - 15/06/2012 14:21 - Canada

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 508

You deserved it 30 129

By richkief76 - 10/05/2011 02:34

Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 982

You deserved it 8 335

By aaalias34 - 26/02/2010 11:13 - United States

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 996

You deserved it 8 456

By beautifulme - 31/01/2012 06:22 - United States

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 128

You deserved it 4 889

By me - 23/10/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 640

You deserved it 7 529

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 873

You deserved it 5 243

By Anonymous - 26/05/2012 00:15 - United States

Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 261

You deserved it 2 734

A07 48

Monday 1 February 2016 19:42

A good way to discourage him would be to spray chilli sauce on his hand when he's not looking, then sit back and enjoy the ensuring shitstorm.

A07 48

Monday 1 February 2016 19:41

How old is your son exactly?

Comments

amsterdamgirl 20

Monday 1 February 2016 20:15

omg! your son is IR BABOON!!!

captainsmegma 12

Monday 1 February 2016 20:16

A true gentleman and one that truly knows how time enjoy life's great gifts.

noluckimblessed 11

Monday 1 February 2016 20:35

#fingerinthebootyassbitch

GolgiTendonOs 18

Monday 1 February 2016 20:44

Well, there's a progression. You can only stick your finger in your ass for so long before it becomes boring and you need to spice it up.

BadKitty13 28

Monday 1 February 2016 20:49

EWWWW THAT'S NASTY

beef_weezle 13

Monday 1 February 2016 21:42

Son, I am disappoint

mds9986 24

Monday 1 February 2016 21:48

Perhaps you should learn to knock?

MissMarySunshine 16

Monday 1 February 2016 21:53

Hopefully he's young but I'm sorry you had to see that. Boys are nasty at any little things at any age. Hopefully he washes his hands.

ham_spam 17

Tuesday 2 February 2016 6:22

Kids are nasty not just boys I guess I should say girls can't drive or something stupid like that

ThrottleJockey 35

Monday 1 February 2016 21:55

So he has butterfingers?

FR0STB1T 4

Monday 1 February 2016 22:01

LOL!

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The Top

Today, I went to the airport to pick up my long-distance boyfriend. Having waited six months for this, I was stoked. After waiting for three hours and sending numerous messages, I was eventually informed I was a week early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 823

You deserved it 14 281

Today, my dad is freaking out because he thinks he's next on the list of targets the NYC CEO shooter has. Not because he himself is a healthcare-ruining CEO, but he's a pharmacist who gets death threats every week from patients he can't give medication to, due to insurance companies denying everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 77

The Top

Today, my parents woke me up in the middle of the night when they got in a huge argument and started yelling at each other. I was up all night. They decided to make it up to each other. They kept me up all night again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 038

You deserved it 2 550

Today, my mom took away my car, phone, dog, laptop and college fund because I told her she lets me down sometimes. I'm moving to Arizona for college in two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 140

You deserved it 2 567

Today, while working at my job in a luxury retail store, a woman left me a business card. It was for a plastic surgeon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 795

You deserved it 228

Today, I saw my first boobs ever, at 18, volunteering at a retirement home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 978

You deserved it 7 776

Close but no cigar!

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 66

Today, after paying for my groceries, I noticed that a bread-roll hadn't been charged. I felt guilty and went back to the register to pay for it. The cashier burst into derisive laughter and mockingly asked me if I was "running for Pope or something". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 062

You deserved it 8 488

Same thing different taste

Good smell

Daddy's in the shit again

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