Kids: Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend... - FML

By piece of shed - 31/08/2011 14:00 - United States

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 248

You deserved it 3 503

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By loser - 20/05/2018 15:00

Today, I woke up to find my 6-year-old daughter had duct taped me to my bed and dropped my wallet down the toilet. Well played. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 693

You deserved it 640

By calliefml - 26/04/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 791

You deserved it 6 164

By Anonymous - 03/06/2018 12:00 - United States - Bellevue

Today, I walked in on my daughter making out with a piece of paper with someone from the cast of IT taped to her pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 697

You deserved it 538

By BaWanda - 30/06/2014 23:39 - United States - San Diego

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 548

You deserved it 48 206

By KayyElOh94 - 17/10/2014 22:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 732

You deserved it 3 806

Collateral damage

By Anonymous - 16/07/2020 05:01

Today, my sweet, nonviolent boyfriend found out my daughter's asshole boyfriend had hit her, so he rugby-tackled him so hard, it ripped the door right out of the frame and into the garden. I never knew he had it in him, so I'm proud, but now we've got to fix the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 360

You deserved it 397

Yuck.

By bdsam - 23/01/2018 06:00

Today, I found out that the sleeping mask I'd been using for months was actually part of a BDSM kit. I found the rest of it in my dad's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 407

You deserved it 1 257

By Anonymous - 28/01/2014 21:57 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 713

You deserved it 5 759

By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Dekalb

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 095

You deserved it 3 061

Alexa, play "No Fun" by The Stooges

By Anonymous - 15/02/2022 21:59

Today, I was supposed to be meeting my daughter's boyfriend, but my wife has locked me in the basement until he leaves, so there’s no chance of me tormenting the boy. Quite wise on her part, I had all kinds of evil ideas, but now I’m locked in here, I’m bored as hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 2 542

Next

Top comments

crabbyabby718 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 18:47

Blame it on the a-a-a-alcohol

jbird1193 3

Wednesday 31 August 2011 18:46

What a bozo.

Comments

girlmongo3 0

Saturday 3 September 2011 23:55

Bad Pennywise impression?

yaknowiverse 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 3:04

what the ****? that's random!!

monomiscuous 8

Sunday 4 September 2011 4:57

Some strong duct tape!

ILoveEmoes 9

Sunday 4 September 2011 14:43

That's creepy. Seriously.

txtracey 0

Monday 5 September 2011 8:01

Forget your FML **** his life!

Demonyx 6

Monday 5 September 2011 9:38

Your daughter is awesome, get pictures

disturbed_girl29 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 6:43

epic

Kornlover 9

Tuesday 6 September 2011 21:56

maybe she's saving him for later

TheRealEllieSan 9

Thursday 8 September 2011 7:11

I call fake, you can duct tape a person to a ceiling. We've tried it with a wall and they wouldn't stay for mote than 5-10 minutes, so I highly doubt it would work with the ceiling.

ForeverGLFan 6

Tuesday 13 September 2011 0:04

Wow...I got nothing for that! I'm not even gonna try to understand what that is!!

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Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

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Hello, you lovely people! This week is yet again brought to you from our French website, so strap some baguettes on your arms, get the accordion out of storage and assume the mandatory position. While you do so, we’ll be off skateboarding, and the...

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 3

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 822

You deserved it 4 306

The Top

Today, I reported one of our college professors for openly displaying pornography on his office door. There was an investigation. He works in the Arts department and claims it's "photographic art." The campus agreed. I got formally reprimanded. What is "art" about explicit photos of naked children? FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 246

Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 954

You deserved it 3 412

Today, my best friend told me about a vicious rumor that's going around, saying I contracted a horrible STD. I asked her if she told everyone it was a lie. She said no, because the rumor is apparently "way too funny to ruin." Maybe it's time for new friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 361

You deserved it 2 629

Today, I confiscated my daughter’s tablet, phone and laptop after I caught her exchanging nudes with boys. My ex then called me in a rage, threatening to take me to court over “stealing his belongings” since he purchased them. No concern for our daughter’s behavior, just him wanting the stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 380

You deserved it 167

Today, I learned that I'm not registered to vote. Apparently filling out the form and signing it in the county clerk's office was no guarantee and I was supposed to follow up until I received mail confirmation. It's now too late to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 108

Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see binoculars, tissues and vaseline. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 865

You deserved it 5 032