Kids: Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke...

By stargirl - 19/07/2011 00:36 - Canada

Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 295

You deserved it 13 149

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Same thing different taste

Bad babysitter

By cantprovenothing - 18/04/2014 21:31 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 625

You deserved it 48 840

By justwantingtohelp - 16/08/2013 05:02 - United States - Highland

Today, a child was choking in the store I work at. He was alone in the aisle, so I started the Heimlich without his parents' permission. After dislodging what was caught, his mother turned the corner and went screaming to my manager for touching her kid. I got a write up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 623

You deserved it 3 428

By Anonymous - 04/08/2013 00:46 - United States - Kerman

Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 292

You deserved it 7 313

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 22:00

Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 618

You deserved it 382

By fuck you, dad - 27/09/2012 18:36 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 701

You deserved it 6 314

By one sorry mom - 05/09/2017 04:31

Today, at the mall, my 4-year-old son threw up on a man's shoes. When he approached me, I immediately machine-gun mouthed him in public. The man apparently is a doctor and concernedly said that my son may have a rare gastric disease based on the puke. I got him checked, and he's right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 912

You deserved it 7 092

By Anonymous - 15/12/2010 05:42 - United States

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 383

You deserved it 10 698

By Anonymous - 02/03/2019 14:00

Today, I went to pick up a pizza with my kids for an easy dinner. As soon as I opened my mouth to order, the 2-year-old in my arms vomited into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 356

You deserved it 254

By SMS123 - 25/06/2010 19:42 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 483

You deserved it 4 789

Choked

By embarrassing - 15/07/2021 18:01

Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 162

mrmystery96 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 9:13

I say let the little bastard drink.

Jay1D 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 9:13

When someones choking you make them drink?

Comments

Tbird_2011 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 7:54

Ahh I remember my first beer

gardenwhipped 5

Wednesday 20 July 2011 7:56

If it happens again. the correct response is "he was choking, blow me." If you are a woman, you get bonus points.

YoungBanks 3

Wednesday 20 July 2011 8:43

you should have tried to play it off as apple juice :)

diensthunds 8

Wednesday 20 July 2011 13:43

you are an idiot you never give somebody something to drink when they are choking

deadbabyjesus 2

Wednesday 20 July 2011 14:45

if someone is choking and you pour something down their throat they will be drowning as well. best to do the hymlick.

Suburban_Dude 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 15:21

Hey, at least your son is alive.

druv 2

Wednesday 20 July 2011 15:55

It's terrible that your son is alive and a bunch of people you may probably never meet again don't think highly of you as they didn't know what was happening

RavenNight 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 16:38

why the hell would you have beer at the table around your child?

xTheDoctorx 1

Wednesday 20 July 2011 17:22

Because I am not going to hide every adult aspect of my life from them. I grew up with beer at the table as a kid and I didn't turn out to be an alcoholic or anything. I am a perfectly normal, successful member of society. It's those sheltered kids that turn out to be the alcoholics. They run loose and go wild as soon as they get the chance. Those of us who weren't sheltered don't get all hyped up about it.