Health: Today, I was at the water park with my boyfriend. We were getting...

By barbie - 18/05/2009 05:48 - United States

Today, I was at the water park with my boyfriend. We were getting on a two-person tube slide. As I went to sit in the front I noticed the lifeguard looking me up and down, what I assumed was him checking me out. I found out I was wrong when he said, "Heaviest in back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 757

You deserved it 10 606

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By klutz - 10/08/2009 14:34 - United States

Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 855

You deserved it 56 840

Sorry, but…

By Anonymous - 28/07/2019 14:00

Today, I was at a waterpark with my friends, waiting in line for about 45 minutes to go on the biggest ride there. When it was finally our turn, the lifeguard at the top pulled me over and measured me to see if I was tall enough. I wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 883

You deserved it 473

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 446

You deserved it 7 721

Baywatch

By Anonymous - 02/10/2017 19:30 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 350

You deserved it 512

Bodyshaming

By auslander - 12/08/2009 20:13 - Switzerland

Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year-old boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 769

You deserved it 7 929

In space no one can hear you fart

By Anonymous - 29/08/2024 10:00 - United States - Claymont

Today, I was at a water park when my stomach started to hurt. I didn’t think anyone was behind me so was I ripped ass so hard, I almost shat myself. However, there was someone behind me, and the look they gave me was disturbing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 623

By wrongman - 14/02/2018 19:00

Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 610

You deserved it 7 729

By Higgs - 02/06/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 150

You deserved it 6 231

By Anonymous - 09/08/2009 13:27 - Canada

Today, I worked at my job at an amusement park at one of the roller coasters. I have to go around and make sure that every seat belt is around the passenger. I saw my boyfriend in a seat and ran over to say hi. I saw a girl next to him. I had to strap down my cheating boyfriend and the new girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 965

You deserved it 3 897

By spaghett - 29/08/2016 20:32 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 162

You deserved it 1 821

scorpiogirl666 0

Monday 18 May 2009 16:15

"what I assumed was him checking me out" stuck up much?

kristina3514 0

Monday 18 May 2009 16:16

where does it say she's fat? She could just have a really scrawny boyfriend!

Comments

xHaniffax 0

Monday 18 May 2009 17:11

YDI for using the word "proceeded" he did not "proceed" to say he said it.

Jaywin 3

Monday 18 May 2009 17:12

I hate these FMLs. "I thought a guy/girl found me attractive. He/She didn't and I was insulted. FML" This happens to everyone at least once in their lifetime it's no big deal. You just move on since you won't see this person ever again anyway. If the FML is about you being heavier than your boyfriend (which I doubt since if it was, the whole part about the lifeguard checking you out wouldn't be here) well that sucks but you could do something about it.

HurgleGlurgle 0

Monday 18 May 2009 17:22

I'm consistently amazed at how rude and mean people are in these comments. :( Regardless - This is either just an unfortunate reminder that you are overweight, or that you're at a normal weight, but simply heavier than your boyfriend. :)

freemuffins 0

Monday 18 May 2009 17:24

I LOL'd

scorpioserpent 1

Monday 18 May 2009 17:25

What's the FML? It's a safety issue for the heaviest to be in front. And why would it concern you whether a guy is checking you out or not, as you have a bf. If you really are fat, then you should know you are fatter than your boyfriend. If it really bothers you, do something about it.

Yeoman 0

Monday 18 May 2009 17:29

Haha ouch. Well, at least he was honest. And safety is always number 1

Piemarz 0

Monday 18 May 2009 17:35

Seriously, get off your scrawny chicken boyfriend and get a chubby lad.

hustler123 0

Monday 18 May 2009 17:35

haha ow owwww!!!! lmfao hey well he spoke as to what he felt, cant blame him Did u want him to check you out??

rukusrazor 0

Monday 18 May 2009 17:36

Was just doing his job. You want other guys checking you out when you're out with your boyfriend? Also, again, assumptions: mother of all **** ups. YDI.