Kids: Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt...

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By KPKallery - 05/06/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 805

You deserved it 11 751

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Same thing different taste

Stealthy

By jessye1182 - 11/05/2012 23:16 - United States - Yaphank

Today, I was babysitting, playing hide and seek. I tried to jump behind the armchair, but it tipped, and I hit my head into the wind chimes, ripped the curtain rod from the wall, and smashed my knee into the wall. I lay on the ground in agonizing pain as the little girl shouted, "I know where you are!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 717

You deserved it 6 267

By peestain - 25/10/2010 10:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 676

You deserved it 32 139

By mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 291

You deserved it 3 560

By Anonymous - 23/03/2013 23:47 - United States

Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 196

You deserved it 5 266

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 03:43 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a really bratty little girl. She came and cuddled up on the couch so I took it as an apology. I feel asleep while she was sitting with me and when I woke up she had peed on me. She locked herself in her room and was laughing about peeing on me for discipling her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 740

You deserved it 7 592

By Noname - 09/03/2009 23:36 - Canada

Today, I was babysitting my co-worker's son. He was eating Jell-o and spilled it on his top, so I pulled off his PJ's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 026

You deserved it 6 070

By Anonymous - 16/04/2011 23:42 - United States

Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year-old boy, and an 19 month-old girl. I was chasing them around the house, having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change, the 3 year-old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 154

You deserved it 11 260

By Anonymous - 02/03/2012 08:30 - Belgium

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 623

You deserved it 4 441

Demon child

By Some Guy - 12/10/2015 00:54 - United States - Allen

Today, I was babysitting a two year-old. He was messing around with a silver fork and I told him it was dangerous. He then got mad at me, started crying, and stabbed me right in the foot. Be warned, even though they're little, they can still cause a lot of pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 381

You deserved it 2 775

By ellen77 - 13/09/2013 05:55 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 039

You deserved it 5 432

FPsLife 5

Friday 5 June 2009 12:16

"It's fine... I'll just kill you later."

kerrygirl 13

Friday 5 June 2009 12:09

sounds fair...

Comments

kaelendra 0

Friday 5 June 2009 20:14

Repressed anger boy villian in the kid world strikes again!

ChasinParkedCars 0

Friday 5 June 2009 20:16

reason #245 why child abuse should be legal.

megahero 0

Friday 5 June 2009 20:23

What does ydi mean

jayfx 0

Friday 5 June 2009 20:29

LOL!!

ohhhhshizzz 0

Friday 5 June 2009 20:38

#133: How is this fake? Are you one of those douches who go on every post, "calling" a fake? Shut up! #128: Really? How did you find this site? This is a site for, FUNNY things that screw up or day or whatnots momentarily. Not: "Today, my mom died from lung cancer, I got hit by a car that was going the wrong way on a one way street. My dad bought my dog to the hospital, which was eaten by the man who likes to ********** to the deceased Bea Arthur in the bed net to me. FML" No you don't so go eat a heaping bowl of stfu and get over it. YDI: You deserved it. OP: LMAO. I love that kid.

martron3000 5

Friday 5 June 2009 20:43

Just be thankful that kid was not a baseball player, 'cause then he might have used a bat!

NoMercy_fml 0

Friday 5 June 2009 20:47

So is that kid like a politician in training?

letmethinknow 0

Friday 5 June 2009 20:51

I've been beaten with a pole by some kid I was babysitting. For no reason. I hate kids.

kellster 2

Friday 5 June 2009 21:14

Maybe look before you sit, especially in someone else's house? Kids get their shit everywhere; it's up to you to make sure you don't damage it! I hope you offered his parents to pay for it!