Miscellaneous: Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject...

By itstillhurts - 21/12/2009 04:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 568

You deserved it 35 759

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/09/2012 04:03 - United States

Today, I went to my favorite bar after work for a drink. On my way to the porch out back, I didn't realize the sliding glass door was shut, and walked straight into it. I was stone cold sober, but the bartender refused to believe me, and cut me off before my first beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 474

You deserved it 4 442

Fight Club

By MyFaceHurts - 03/08/2010 10:40 - United States

Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 858

You deserved it 55 526

You're nicked

By DrunkenValor - 06/09/2009 04:03 - United Kingdom

Today, my friend got drunk. We tried to get him into a cab, he punched me in the face, three chavs then accosted me, accusing me of trying to mug him. I was then beaten up by said chavs and then the police charged me for being drunk and disorderly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 305

You deserved it 3 466

All over the place

By nemi - 31/08/2010 22:33 - Norway

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 673

You deserved it 8 845

By Anonymous - 24/12/2011 02:49 - Australia

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 151

You deserved it 41 745

By Caution - 02/10/2018 22:00

Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 202

You deserved it 590

By Anonymous - 24/10/2012 10:51 - Australia - Croydon

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 316

You deserved it 1 904

By AntSimo - 19/05/2009 07:46 - South Africa

Today, whilst presenting a report to the head of my college, I was arrested by a police officer for assault. I was in a bar the night before and accidentally bumped into a local tough guy on the way to the toilet. I got punched in the face. The witnesses got our names mixed up. That'll look great on my CV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 661

You deserved it 2 968

By Anonymous - 26/07/2015 14:27 - France - Paris

Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 704

You deserved it 13 782

By haappynewyear - 01/01/2011 03:21 - United States

Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 000

You deserved it 6 096

mhm_megann 0

Monday 21 December 2009 9:10

i woleheartedly enjoyed how english that fml was!

xd0rkiee 0

Monday 21 December 2009 9:07

Why would you even think that? Yes, pieces of glass flying onto you and cutting your face TOTALLY does not hurt.

Comments

Bumlove89 0

Monday 21 December 2009 19:51

Good job. Now you know that it does hurt.

kvgf1484 0

Monday 21 December 2009 20:12

LOL. I like his username "itstillhurts"

kvgf1484 0

Monday 21 December 2009 20:14

Me too. haha

rosy_fml 0

Monday 21 December 2009 20:30

This is the funniest thing I've ever read on this site.

R0lling_St0ner 0

Monday 21 December 2009 21:56

lol I've had that happen to me 2......but I didn't wonder if it'd hurt.....and it wasn't by a friend........but I was at a bar!

EveryDayJackAss 0

Monday 21 December 2009 21:57

well you have a good friend, teaching you a lesson to NOT ever underestimate the power of GLASS!!!!!!

barbosa1001 0

Monday 21 December 2009 23:16

You deserved it, (in a kindhearted way)

Thoureau 0

Tuesday 22 December 2009 0:34

Wow, you think that, because I didn't mention either of those events that I wasn't aware of them? I meant that in the sense that the US' intervention is what helped the Allies win both times, seeing as that Russia left in the middle of the first World War and France got pummeled in both wars. Don't just assume that I'm a dumbass because you are apparently oh so condescending.

ryan__h 1

Tuesday 22 December 2009 1:34

wow...i can't believe all the ethnocentrism.

Thoureau 0

Tuesday 22 December 2009 2:32

I hear that.

Thoureau 0

Tuesday 22 December 2009 2:29

I'm not being condescending! I was using that as an example of how ungrateful Europe acts towards America. I apologize if it sounded different, but tbh, you're not being all that humble.