Intimacy: Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long....

By bitchasaurusrex - 15/02/2011 21:24 - Canada

Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 505

You deserved it 3 419

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/07/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 079

You deserved it 3 888

Stop talking, stop talking now

By Anonymous - 14/06/2012 15:49 - United States

Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what posessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to dicuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 132

You deserved it 2 669

Make it stop, please

By Anonymous - 27/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 125

By fedupson - 09/04/2015 14:03 - United States - Milpitas

Today, I went driving for the first time with my mom. When she wasn't screaming, she gave great advice like, "Stop at the red light" and "Don't crash into cars". I need to drive 50 hours with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 117

You deserved it 2 658

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 819

You deserved it 37 526

Make it stop

By ITSnotFUNNYtoMEass - 25/05/2009 08:54 - United States

Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for three hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML

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You deserved it 5 520

All figured out

By Toroka - 29/07/2016 18:59

Today, I had to spend two hours in the car with my mother. That doesn't sound so bad until you realize she's the kind of person who can, and did, spend nearly half an hour ranting about how the Big Beautiful Woman porn niche is the root of obesity in America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 979

You deserved it 1 024

Motormouth

By Anonymous - 17/08/2020 17:08

Today, my boyfriend and I were riding in the back seat of his mom’s car and she kept talking at him non-stop. He responded only in grunts. When at some point I informed her that her son had been asleep for several minutes, she just kept on talking to him anyway. FML

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You deserved it 117

Stress test

By haramara - 25/05/2021 17:01

Today, while driving on the streets for the first time, my mom decided that it would be an appropriate time to yell at me for every single mistake I’ve ever made in my life. This stressed me out so much I began driving against traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 164

By Yulia - 09/03/2009 10:09 - United States

Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 231

You deserved it 5 221

allmidnighteyes 10

Wednesday 16 February 2011 9:05

Is there some sort of connection between the two? Does she want you to serenade your partner with sweet polka jams while you two go at it?

woosah 16

Wednesday 16 February 2011 9:23

to be honest though... we do need a few more according players... so. I mean, think about it at least

Comments

rattusrattus 18

Wednesday 16 February 2011 11:10

Your mother has no taste. She should have told you to get hammond organ lessons. :P

jesses393 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 12:13

it's awesome to have open parents. my gfs mom buys me condoms

Roxxay 6

Saturday 26 February 2011 14:33

because she thinks you're not intelligent enough to buy them on your own and she doesn't want to have a pregnant daughter

UpsidedownKayak 9

Wednesday 16 February 2011 12:18

I don't have this problem, my mom refuses to ride in the car while I am driving. I live several states away and if we are in a car together, she has to be driving. I am also past the point of her trying to give me "the talk". OP, You should learn to play the bagpipes, nothing is cooler than that.

cotter96 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 12:43

music is a life saver just turn the radio up

iluffmcrandbvb 1

Wednesday 16 February 2011 12:52

yeah what do u know?

iluffmcrandbvb 1

Wednesday 16 February 2011 12:55

when i was in the 1st grade i had a teacher who would play her accordion really badly until we shut up if we were bad. no other punishment compared to ms. schoody

Jimboom 11

Wednesday 16 February 2011 13:27

This one time... at band camp....

layniet 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 13:30

playing accordion is sexy :)

NextBigThing5044 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 13:47

Strange?

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 16 February 2011 14:51

Tell her you're going to learn to play the harmonica or the bagpipes to help you practice giving blow jobs. Men get turned on if you can play and blow at the same time.