Transportation and Money: Today, I was giving a tour of my boat to a man who seemed interested...

By anon - 29/08/2012 04:52 - United States - York

Today, I was giving a tour of my boat to a man who seemed interested in purchasing it. Everything was going great. That is, until, the motor stopped running in the middle of the ocean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 524

You deserved it 3 123

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

High flying old bird

By Anonymous - 08/04/2023 04:00

Today, while on vacation with my family, I went parasailing. Just as I was about to take off, the wind picked up and I got blown off course. I ended up crashing into a boat and had to be rescued by the coastguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 109

By good_job_john - 20/07/2009 15:43 - United States

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend on my boat at the lake. As we were looking at the mountains all around us, she playfully pushed me off the side into the water. As I got back on the boat, I realized that not only was my cellphone dead, but the ring had fallen into the deep water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 409

You deserved it 4 297

Time to change your mind

By Anonymous - 28/01/2020 18:00

I agree, your life sucks 3 659

You deserved it 303

Cursed lake

By TabbyCat87 - 18/10/2019 16:00

Today, our boat broke down in the middle of a lake at sunset. We called our friend for help, and his truck and trailer got stuck in mud at the boat ramp. We called the sheriff's office to tow his vehicle out of the mud. The tow strap broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 630

You deserved it 152

Lost

By p-man - 27/08/2009 07:34 - United States

Today, my friend and I went boating. In the middle of the lake, we decided to jump in. We put our valuables in the boat and jumped in. When I tried to get back in the boat, it flipped over, and our cellphones, along with my car keys, are at the bottom of the lake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 182

You deserved it 57 411

Sea legs

By have it your way - 29/04/2014 19:13 - United States - Rochester

Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 145

You deserved it 5 072

By Jimbo - 25/05/2010 09:29 - United States

Today, I came home on leave after a seven month deployment in the middle of the ocean for the Navy. My entire region got hit by the worst flood in recorded history. I need a speedboat to go to the Quick-e-mart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 347

You deserved it 2 817

Pirate move

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff

Today, I was kayaking with my friend. We figured it'd be awesome if I jumped from my kayak straight into his. Sounded good in theory. One flipped kayak, a pair of lost glasses, and a humiliating swim back to shore later, I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 718

You deserved it 26 833

By Anonymous - 12/06/2012 16:38 - United States - North Las Vegas

Today, I started my new job as a repossession agent. While attempting to repo a boat, we came across a young couple. The woman was very annoying, and even hit another agent, so I threatened to throw her in the water if she touched him again. I ended up in the water instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 470

You deserved it 14 551

Nature is healing

By KeysToHappiness - 16/08/2015 12:39 - United States - Roseville

Today, I was kayaking with my family for my birthday when we tipped over while going down a rocky cascade. My husband badly cut up his arm, and my car keys and my phone both went for a swim and never returned. Great birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 464

You deserved it 8 678

Achall91 17

Wednesday 29 August 2012 12:04

Something tells me you still own a boat...

Driveshaft 5

Wednesday 29 August 2012 12:04

Two best days in boat owners life: 1. The day he buys his boat. 2. The day he sells it.

Comments

ambowew 7

Wednesday 29 August 2012 17:40

I'm on a boat and it's going fa- ..uh TAKE A GOOD HARD LOOK AT THE MOTHER ******* BOAT!

musicluvr2000 11

Wednesday 29 August 2012 18:25

Just ignore the wonderful groaning of a broken motor.

epicskier 3

Wednesday 29 August 2012 18:51

At least you got to show him how paddles work with the boat

Dcm210 19

Wednesday 29 August 2012 19:02

hopefully you were smart enough to have paddles.

pantone288u 10

Wednesday 29 August 2012 19:22

Fyl, hook line and sinker.

MelissaHope1986 8

Wednesday 29 August 2012 20:40

You always make me laugh. Atleast there is still some ppl you can have a sense of humor and not be so serious online.

AJE98 5

Wednesday 29 August 2012 20:55

What kinda boat and I assume it isn't a twin then

duravian 1

Wednesday 29 August 2012 21:14

First, make sure the boat actually works before you try to sell it. Second, MIDDLE of the ocean... I doubt that

rikolasdf 2

Wednesday 29 August 2012 22:30

"Middle of the ocean"?

calliefornia2 3

Wednesday 29 August 2012 22:43

It must have taken a while to get to "the middle of the ocean" maybe you just ran out of gas...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 482

You deserved it 11 506

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 306

You deserved it 3 563

The Top

Today, the girl I thought I was dating introduced me to her boyfriend. We've gone on dates and have slept in the same bed, but it turns out she thought I was her gay best friend and was planning to introduce me to her boyfriend's brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 391

You deserved it 882

Today, at work, I had a crease in my pants. Everyone thought I had a boner. Later in the day, when I actually had one, no one could tell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 158

You deserved it 4 730

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 584

You deserved it 36 718

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for knowing more about Batman than he does. He's only seen some of the movies, and as a kid my dad owned a comic book store. He still doesn't see why I should know more, because I'm a girl, and "girls aren't supposed to know about superheroes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 692

You deserved it 4 130

Today, it was my first shift at Walmart. I wasn’t given an assignment, and my supervisor told me to “go find the manager to get assigned.” I spent the entire eight hours of my shift trying to find the manager. I couldn’t find my supervisor again either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 117

Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 985

You deserved it 4 875