Intimacy: Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around...

By Told_You_So - 09/07/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 081

You deserved it 5 087

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Syferix - 18/03/2009 22:42 - United States

Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 658

You deserved it 27 061

By Nails - 22/02/2009 03:16 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 128

You deserved it 7 243

The talk

By Anonymous - 12/10/2009 01:28 - United States

Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 347

You deserved it 2 283

Supportive

By katerina - 29/11/2013 22:27 - United Kingdom

Today, I overheard my parents talking about me and discussing how I've never had a boyfriend. My mum laughed that maybe they should pay someone to go out with me, and my dad replied, "Heh, not enough money in the world." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 368

You deserved it 4 226

By dpl - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 581

You deserved it 5 636

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 109

Busted

By Anonymous - 01/09/2013 05:06 - United States - El Paso

Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 721

You deserved it 5 796

By CallaC - 15/03/2012 02:01 - Canada

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 507

You deserved it 2 898

By koolkat9 - 22/12/2014 19:11 - United States - Albion

Today, my boyfriend told me that my mom paid him to date me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 034

You deserved it 3 313

Confinement's gonna be fun

By Anonymous - 16/03/2020 23:01

Today, I left the house to get groceries. My parents asked me where I was going and how long I would be gone for. Thinking they were just being inquisitive parents, I ignored them. I got home 20 minutes later to them having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 2 399

Jaucet 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 16:14

Well at least your parents are funny!

mitch707 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 16:22

Atleast your Mum has faith in you.

Comments

Jejejessi40 0

Friday 10 July 2009 2:29

Me too... It's okay. My parents are the swingers and I'm the 19 year-old virgin. They think it's funny.

ZebaRebahki 0

Friday 10 July 2009 3:02

LOL! don't feel too bad. It's okay that you have morals and respect for your body. What's hilarious is that they bet on it and your mom has no faith in you lol.

Aperture 0

Friday 10 July 2009 3:14

First question is how old is the OP.

DasStig 0

Friday 10 July 2009 4:24

*** all you virgin dissers, there are many factors as to why some ppl still are virgins, not just because they are losers... im a guy whos in the same boat as you. Perhaps we can find a way to solve our FML problems together..... ;) LOL, jj, - dw, ppl like us just have to hold on until that time comes.

i_fail_greatly 0

Friday 10 July 2009 6:16

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! this really sucks but hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaaha!!!!!!!! this is the funniest thing i've heard all week!

Ron_fml 0

Friday 10 July 2009 6:35

Didn't one fml have the same thing but it was about if he was gay or not. And wasnt this on South Park either way Unoriginal

maliawashere 0

Friday 10 July 2009 6:54

hey, at least your mom thinks your getting some.

chrismace 11

Friday 10 July 2009 13:59

Well, it's not necessarily bad to have a non existent sex life, but FYL because your parents made a bet out of it.

bubblekat9 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 4:15

Being a virgin is something to be proud of. Not many people these days can say that they honestly respect themselves enough to keep it in their pants.

l33tm0nk3y 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 5:03

Right on, #80. The fact that the sex life is "nonexistant" is nothing to be upset about. Don't let it get to you. Now, the fact that your parents bet on it...that's a little weird.