Intimacy: Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails...

FML for mobile
Free

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 07:51 - United States - Portland

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 138

You deserved it 6 182

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By katie - 25/05/2011 08:23

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 998

You deserved it 19 180

By Anonymous - 19/10/2012 20:54 - Czech Republic - Ceska

Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 574

You deserved it 31 826

By Walter - 24/10/2015 03:17 - Spain

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 148

You deserved it 6 256

By rebeccacaissie - 21/11/2010 18:16 - United States

Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 644

You deserved it 8 918

Action - Reaction

By CaptBlood - 21/05/2021 00:01

Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 187

By Anonymous - 20/10/2015 09:44 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 830

You deserved it 3 658

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 135

Classically Abby

By shesanexnow - 19/08/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 341

You deserved it 211

Kinky

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 03:03 - United States

Today, I had a panic attack because my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to choke me in the middle of sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 856

You deserved it 6 149

Girl boss

By dating walter white's gf apparently - 06/04/2013 19:13 - United Kingdom

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 135

You deserved it 13 424

iemislayer 10

Saturday 1 June 2013 19:03

Dump her cheating ass

Wiringify 22

Saturday 1 June 2013 19:03

Hopefully she just mistook the date.

Comments

darkelf549 3

Wednesday 5 June 2013 11:25

At least you didn't have to add "my twin brother had off last night" See, could always be worse.

soapmactavish82 8

Saturday 8 June 2013 6:30

Maybe she was raped and thought it was you

Mega_Mudkipz 5

Monday 10 June 2013 5:22

....at work choking her :D

britneylee 1

Tuesday 11 June 2013 20:56

PSH THAT SHIT DON'T FEEL GOOD! WHAT A CHHEATING BITCH! GET URSELF TESTED ASAP

Purplecodfan5 4

Sunday 16 June 2013 6:33

**** her dump her cheating ass she deserves to be dumped

ChuckNorris2 4

Monday 17 June 2013 11:53

Confront her about this immediately.

iyalol22 8

Saturday 22 June 2013 20:54

Cheater

tifferknee 10

Friday 23 August 2013 7:50

nothing wrong withbeibg choked ;) but you shoukd dumb that lying *****!!

XxQuartersxX 14

Tuesday 12 November 2013 6:49

All I can think is that that hard-on was instantly lost. Sorry, man :c Your girl sucks :(

brianlarkin 7

Friday 7 February 2014 4:46

Maybe a person broke into your house in the dark and your gf thought it was you and he choked her

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Love Transportation Ironic Jealousy Party Miscellaneous Music Social Media Scary Gun control Dogs Family Babies Kids Technology Relationship advice Relatable Awkward School AITA Am I overreacting? Tattoos Annoying Instagram Friends Work Anger issues Geek Anger Pregnancy

The Top

Today, I’ve been threatened with a lawsuit for refusing to treat a patient. I had to refuse her because she brought a huge hairy dog with her that she falsely claimed was her service animal. Not only am I deathly allergic to dogs, the damn thing shat in my waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 95

Today, I was at a friend's birthday party in a packed karaoke bar/restaurant and I drunkenly agreed to sing. I picked a song I thought I knew by heart, only to realize halfway through that the lyrics on the screen were not at all what I thought they were. My brain went for a smoke break or something, and I turned into a rambling mess. The crowd actually booed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 383

The Top

Today, I'm unloved by my partner. She has not made love with me for one and a half years. On our anniversary two years ago, she told me we had nothing to celebrate, that I had achieved nothing in more than a decade we have been together. I lost 25 kgs and got a new job earning around 80K a year. Still nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 247

Today, I was walking down the street when a pigeon flew into my head and got caught in my hair. To make matters worse, a group of kids thought it was hilarious and started filming me with their phones while I screamed in terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 104

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 720

You deserved it 26 851

Today, my mother, who has no life of her own, barged into my house and demanded to know why we hadn’t had kids yet after 6 months of marriage. She then hoovered the living room for a while, even though I did it yesterday, and only left after criticising my wife’s makeup and body weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 043

You deserved it 497

Today, I got a message from my crush, with whom I had a one night stand with a few months ago. I was really surprised and excited to see his name pop up on my phone. Turns out, he only messaged me to accuse me of giving him mono, and then he blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 274

Today, I was told that if I was caught yawning again, I'd be fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 884

You deserved it 2 307