Today, I was put in lockup for accidentally scaring the officer... - FML

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By Username - 31/07/2019 00:01 - Singapore

Today, I was put in lockup for accidentally scaring the officer by lifting my hand to scratch my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 666

You deserved it 235

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Same thing different taste

By breakfast tea - 07/04/2012 19:30 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, I was escorted out of the building for getting in a scuffle at my anger management class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 718

You deserved it 28 612

By ihateteenagers - 30/12/2010 02:12 - United States

Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 579

You deserved it 10 087

Nighty night

By leogs23 - 07/03/2021 14:02

Today, I got into trouble for sleeping at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 1 808

What did you expect?

By Overzealous cop of the day - 10/04/2025 06:00 - United States - New York

Today, as a joke, I hopped in the front seat of a police cruiser and took a cute selfie while the officer was talking to someone on the sidewalk. A minute later, he dragged me to the ground and arrested me. Um… what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 1 390

By AntSimo - 19/05/2009 07:46 - South Africa

Today, whilst presenting a report to the head of my college, I was arrested by a police officer for assault. I was in a bar the night before and accidentally bumped into a local tough guy on the way to the toilet. I got punched in the face. The witnesses got our names mixed up. That'll look great on my CV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 673

You deserved it 2 970

By Anonymous - 25/11/2014 20:15 - United States

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 954

You deserved it 3 141

A shooting waiting to happen

By Never Been Arrested - 01/03/2016 21:44 - United States - State College

Today, I was once again mistaken for an escaped convict. I live near a women's correctional facility and apparently my nursing scrubs look a lot like their prisoners' uniforms. The cop made me late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 370

You deserved it 1 291

By Anonymous - 16/02/2010 07:26 - United States

Today, I was docked and fined in my dorm building because of multiple noise complaints. What was I doing that was so noisy? I slipped in the shower and banged my head against the floor. Then when I reached for the towel rack to pull myself up, it broke and I slammed my wrist onto the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 152

You deserved it 2 767

By Matthew - 27/11/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 897

You deserved it 4 584

No one is safe

By chili - 24/07/2021 04:01

Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 338

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Top comments

Weslea Sanchez 12

Wednesday 31 July 2019 0:33

Well at least they didn't shoot first and ask questions later

skippydoda 32

Wednesday 31 July 2019 1:05

That makes me feel safe that he's carrying a gun

Comments

Weslea Sanchez 12

Wednesday 31 July 2019 0:33

Well at least they didn't shoot first and ask questions later

skippydoda 32

Wednesday 31 July 2019 1:05

That makes me feel safe that he's carrying a gun

LostSoul 19

Wednesday 31 July 2019 1:49

Here they taze you.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Wednesday 31 July 2019 15:53

"Don't tase me, bro!"

Memnoc 26

Wednesday 31 July 2019 3:10

When a cop says don't move, what they really mean is..... DON'T FRIGGIN MOVE!

WeirdUS 29

Wednesday 31 July 2019 8:57

I got pulled over once and they had me get out of the car and of course they were nervous about my hands in my jeans with my thumbs sticking out. When they say keep your hands where we can see them and don't move they don't take that lightly.

_SouthernClass_ 7

Tuesday 6 August 2019 20:08

Wait. If you’re in lockup how do you have internet service?

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The Top

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later, I got a text saying, "I just dropped the bitch off, I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I later asked him about it. He said, "Megan, I have no idea what you're talking about." My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 290 701

You deserved it 143 429

Today, while queuing in a shop, a girl appeared to bunk the line. When I asked her about it, she said it was nothing to do with me. She then asked me what was I going to do about it, before kneeing me in the nuts. I was overtaken by everyone in the queue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 687

You deserved it 285

The Top

Today, I was out shopping with my friends when I saw my ex. I instinctively tried to hide by quickly turning around and walking into a store. It was a mirror. I walked straight into my own reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 322

Today, I saw a display with a mirror that said, "You are made in God's image!" I'm too short to be able to see myself in said mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 72

Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 431

You deserved it 48 057

Today, I just got done watching my cousin's two kids for four days while they were on vacation. I fed, clothed, and bathed them for four days of hell and got paid with a $5 shark tooth necklace from the Bahamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 016

You deserved it 5 357

Today, my wife filed for divorce. Last month, she was diagnosed with stage 4, terminal, inoperable cancer. We got a second (confirmed) opinion. She has maybe six months left. She told me she doesn't want to spend her last remaining days on this earth with me. Our 33rd anniversary was in May. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 820

You deserved it 219

Today, my boyfriend of almost a year told me he thinks he might be gay. I took off my shirt, sexily climbed over him, and began to kiss him passionately. "What do you think now?" I said seductively. His response? "Now I'm sure I'm gay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 226

You deserved it 986