Poopoo peepee and Animals: Today, I was woken up to the sound of my cat peeing on the pillow...

By Cat Piss - 15/12/2013 16:58 - United States - Lavon

Today, I was woken up to the sound of my cat peeing on the pillow next to mine. When I yelled at him, he jumped over my face and off the bed. He was still peeing the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 679

You deserved it 6 883

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/05/2009 12:37 - Canada

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 008

You deserved it 28 867

Precision strike

By Zodiacfall - 27/10/2019 02:00

Today, I replaced my bedsheets with new, clean ones. I went to the bathroom to wash up, and when I came back, my cat had peed exactly where my head would be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 238

By Andrea Trevor - 30/04/2018 01:30

Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 135

You deserved it 630

Signs of distress

By Anonymous - 29/04/2022 04:00

Today, I was woken up by my cat, who normally doesn't bother me in the morning, meowing desperately and trying to get me to wake up. Fearing that something was very wrong, I jumped out of bed. He gestured for me to follow him, so I did. I followed him all the way to the kitchen, where he proceeded to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 035

You deserved it 212

By grosssss - 01/01/2010 13:03 - Australia

Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 732

You deserved it 3 436

By MoncaBang - 29/01/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 684

You deserved it 3 453

By nenette - 12/11/2014 22:50 - France

Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 745

You deserved it 3 581

By Adam - 16/03/2010 20:51 - United States

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 335

You deserved it 5 185

Alexa, play "The Lovecats" by The Cure

By MistofAvalon - 24/04/2020 14:00

Today, my cat woke me up announcing he was hungry by standing on my bedside table. This placed him both next to and above my head. Did he do this by meowing? Nope. Did he do it by tapping me with his little paw? Not that either. He sneezed all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 393

You deserved it 308

The gift

By Anonymous - 15/12/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 171

zinnath 9

Sunday 15 December 2013 19:09

That would of been a funny YouTube cat video.

xnyletak 17

Sunday 15 December 2013 19:10

You should upgrade to a dog.

Comments

hickeyboy42 11

Tuesday 17 December 2013 3:08

That bastard

Chiikan 3

Tuesday 17 December 2013 3:16

Golden shower....

ni0ve 9

Tuesday 17 December 2013 4:01

Good morning

aargol721 3

Tuesday 17 December 2013 14:55

F*%k cats

jman87 1

Tuesday 17 December 2013 16:35

I pictured that end scene in free willy when I read this.

Kannachan13 9

Tuesday 17 December 2013 19:25

You may want to bring it to the vet, that can be a sign of crystals in the urine which will get very expensive and painful if not treated right away.

takeittoem 8

Wednesday 18 December 2013 11:43

Time to break out an old classic: cat soup. Bon appetite!

AloysiusWeasley 15

Thursday 19 December 2013 1:08

Your cat is trying to tell you something - the box isn't clean, or something in the environment is making it unhappy.

Fenrir_The_Wolf 1

Saturday 28 December 2013 10:55

I can only assume that really pissed you off... *ba dum tss*

dcai777 2

Friday 2 May 2014 19:40

poor cat...

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The Top

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 896

You deserved it 2 259

Today, I told my wife I had a huge Zoom interview and could not be disturbed under any circumstances. Nevertheless, she called her mom, got into a screaming argument the interviewer could clearly hear, then came into my office to cry on my shoulder. She doesn't understand why I'm furious with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 80

The Top

Today, I was telling my boyfriend about what happened to me during the day when he stopped me mid-sentence, asked me to skip the middle and to go right to the end of the story, because he could feel himself slowly dying of boredom. Rude much? FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 781

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 128

You deserved it 97 140

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 118 917

You deserved it 11 084

Today, at 4 AM, I locked myself out of my apartment. After calling friends in vain, I decided to just sit on the doorstep and wait for someone to come in. I sat for 10 minutes before a homeless man insisted threateningly that I move. I was kicked off my own front doorstep by a homeless man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 697

You deserved it 7 474

Today, I was at a friend's birthday party when I got a call from my mom telling me to come home because my dog died. When I told my friend that I had to leave because of the loss, she replied with, "Okay, but you brought my gift inside, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 746

You deserved it 2 840

Today, my report card finally came in. My mom took one look at it and told me that if I'm not going to take my grades seriously, I might as well start looking for a sugar daddy. But first, I apparently need to work on prettying myself up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 221

You deserved it 8 850