Animals: Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt...

FML for mobile
Free

By rb - 01/05/2011 06:02 - United States

Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 778

You deserved it 3 585

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By yesikilledit - 20/11/2018 13:30

Today, I woke up and saw a piece of black fuzz on my shirt. I tried to pick it off but it crawled into my hand and stabbed my skin with its sharp legs. I screamed like a little girl because I had a centipede on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 361

You deserved it 339

By SpideyFace - 19/03/2011 01:36 - Canada

Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 926

You deserved it 5 873

By dre_bro11 - 06/11/2011 12:17 - Australia

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 068

You deserved it 12 476

By thenotsomanlyman - 07/03/2011 16:17 - United States

Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 693

You deserved it 41 688

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 333

You deserved it 7 654

By yikes - 21/04/2012 08:36 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 166

You deserved it 3 780

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 164

Hello little guy

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 00:00

Today, I put my house shoes on without socks, but felt a rock in them. I shook it free and out dropped a half-crushed roach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 121

He was just chillin'

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 13:59

Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 1 020

Invasion

By Karmas3itch - 12/05/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 938

You deserved it 6 773

IntoTheClouds 42

Sunday 1 May 2011 16:15

Looks like you were in a bit of a sticky situation.

ECMchase 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 16:16

Suicide bomber centipede.

Comments

randomthingstv 5

Tuesday 3 May 2011 6:00

house centipede has a broken leg and can fix anyones medical problem. *cue teardrop by massive attack*

sarahskura 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 6:00

I had one of those In my house the other nite it's creepy as hell

sarahskura 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 6:02

I had one of those In my house the other nite it's creepy as hell

UrLyfSuxx 0

Wednesday 4 May 2011 1:15

soccer_05 0

Wednesday 4 May 2011 1:35

dude the same thing happened to me! only it was alive.. D;

4ugu4 7

Tuesday 31 May 2011 7:27

EWWWW!!!! NASTY! XP

Goldfish_FML 5

Sunday 4 September 2011 16:33

EWWWWWW

princess151617 4

Sunday 25 September 2011 14:50

That grosssssssss

Bubb1es 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 17:03

WTF how fo they explode?!? But any way FYL

xXMudkipNoobXx 7

Sunday 9 October 2011 7:06

Thatssssss ssssome clean handssss you got there

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Vacation Relatable TV shows Health Periods Kids Cute Love Abuse Gross Healthy Lifestyle Parenting Smells Cheating Flowers Sex My ex Money Awkward Instagram Social Media Hospital Pregnancy Animals Dogs Death Sadness Intimacy AITA Technology

The Top

Today, I was with my boyfriend and we were in his car when he burst out crying, I thought it might have been because we had gotten into a huge fight and he felt bad. No, he cried on my shoulder for a half hour because he misses his ex-girlfriend. He's been writing songs about wanting her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 672

You deserved it 3 992

Today, I tried to make it right by visiting my girl in the hospital after she had our baby. I fucked up by freaking out and dumping her since I didn’t feel ready, but now wanted to do the right thing. When I got there, another guy was kissing her and holding my baby. My best friend/cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 1 009

The Top

Today, my son got back from his solo holiday in Hawaii. I asked him what he did. Apparently, he sat in his suite for 2 weeks, watching shit on his laptop. He spent thousands of pounds, flew thousands of miles to one of the nicest islands in the world, all to stay in his room. He could have done that here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 187

Today, I forgot to log out of my Facebook account before leaving for work. When I got back home, I discovered that my brother had gone through and commented "quack" on all my friend's duckfacing photos. She was not pleased. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 724

You deserved it 48 158

Today, I still can't open my curtains or door without ADHD teenage neighbour screaming my name and waving from my across the road. I moved from a city to this place so I could have a big garden to help my extreme social anxiety. When I go outside, she comes running over. Sometimes she brings her dog, who shits on my lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 171

Today, after always laughing when my mom told me to avoid dating any guy with green eyes and thinking it was some weird prejudice, she told me the truth. My father cheated and had at least six other kids. They all have green eyes and look alike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 028

You deserved it 91

Today, three weeks after my sister took in a wounded porcupine from our backyard and let it roam about the house, I learned that it sheds quills from time to time. How did I learn this? By stepping on three of said quills hidden in the carpet. I still have only managed to pull one out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 636

You deserved it 2 757

Today, what did I get after a long, tiring week? A long, depressing weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 134