Valentine's slay, Looking good and Health: Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family....

FML for mobile
Free

By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 14:58 - United States - Commack

Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 806

You deserved it 3 663

April Pisces: Traps and Laughs
Laugh at the best (and worst) April 1st jokes. Watch out, you could be next! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By iusedprotectionanyway - 21/03/2014 21:44 - New Zealand - Waitakere

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 239

You deserved it 3 515

By sore - 21/10/2009 08:27 - Australia

Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 278

You deserved it 6 684

By AquaRevolver - 25/05/2009 10:35 - New Zealand

Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 702

You deserved it 54 455

By Anonymous - 24/01/2017 18:00

Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 932

You deserved it 836

By Z - 26/11/2012 10:26 - Australia

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 795

You deserved it 25 012

By fuck - 21/04/2012 02:48 - United States - Lawrenceville

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 923

You deserved it 4 080

Ballin'

By oww - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 060

You deserved it 728

By maybe? - 11/02/2015 16:11 - Germany - Hamburg

Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 570

You deserved it 4 006

By walllflower - 08/02/2015 19:46 - Canada - Saint Catharines

Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 035

You deserved it 4 393

By nl4 - 01/11/2013 23:55 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 907

You deserved it 56 273

laden_swallow09 34

Saturday 27 December 2014 1:08

Never go paintballin' with the in-laws. NEVER. There are several FMLs exactly like this one that illustrate why.

RhineBl 17

Saturday 27 December 2014 0:28

He didn't do it to protect her, he did it to hurt him.

Comments

benjamn 24

Saturday 27 December 2014 5:02

That was your warning. Treat his daughter wrong, you better watch out.

derpinbob 4

Saturday 27 December 2014 5:48

Stop bein a damn baby. It's a paintball

countryb_cth 38

Sunday 28 December 2014 10:41

Especially at close range.

redstone7693 29

Saturday 27 December 2014 5:56

ouch. paintball hurts.

cbcs222 13

Saturday 27 December 2014 7:40

It's paintball OP, you'll get your chance to get him back!

mu89 4

Saturday 27 December 2014 7:56

Quadruple tap his daughter while he's home.

SlyCooper15 16

Saturday 27 December 2014 11:20

That shit doesn't even hurt...

blueblaise 4

Sunday 28 December 2014 0:34

But did you get hit in the face?? If it wasnt in the face you got no sympathy from me man.

ajh557 22

Sunday 28 December 2014 11:41

You're a pussy.

drainedoflife 10

Sunday 28 December 2014 19:28

Hey at least you did not get shot in the nuts.

ASadisticPanda 4

Sunday 28 December 2014 21:29

you should do the same, but with a real gun, with real bullets

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Transportation Vandalism Cars Love Parents Awkward Dreams Cheating Sex Animals Dogs Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Birthday Family Gifts Anxiety Work Health Facebook Break-ups Social Media Party Relationship advice Weird Dating Instagram Embarrassing Clothes Housework

The Top

Today, I had a small gathering of family and friends over to celebrate my son's baptism. One of my friends happens to be a police officer. The entire event consisted of him arresting three of my family members. Don't worry, he came back to get some cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 449

You deserved it 4 402

Today, and for the past week, I've come to accept that my dad's business is failing. He's used to hiring people willing to work for little pay from a street corner, and now those guys have all but vanished. No "real" Americans want to work for him, even for minimum wage. This country is fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 835

The Top

Today, it's cold and rainy. I would like nothing more than to drink hot chocolate and watch a movie with the woman I love; the same woman who cheated on me and took the TV with her when she left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 397

You deserved it 4 027

Today, I found out that honestly answering "yes" to "Are Kate Upton's boobs bigger than mine?" is in my girlfriend's mind the equivalent of saying I don't find her attractive anymore and that I want to break up with her to date a supermodel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 316

You deserved it 8 379

Today, I asked my classmate if she was ready for the final tomorrow and she said it was yesterday. I'm not a bad student - I have 90+ average in the class - but the final was 50% of my grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 554

You deserved it 1 896

Today, my husband has decided to grow a mullet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 518

You deserved it 3 859

Today, as I walked on to the bus, the girl I liked whispered something to her friend. Curious, I asked what was so funny. She said she never realized that when I got on, I shook the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 139

You deserved it 3 745

Today, my family checked into a hotel for spring break. The first thing my brother did was steal all the bars of soap and bottles of shampoo. He's now guarding them, and hissing at anyone that tries to take them. I just want to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 695

You deserved it 3 027

Same thing different taste

Ballin'

Top comments

Comments