Animals: Today, I went to my cousin's farm with my family. First I was...

By Anonymous - 28/09/2009 20:36 - United States

Today, I went to my cousin's farm with my family. First I was pooped on by a goose, peed on by a puppy, bit in the face by the mother dog, fell through the floor of the barn loft, and without knowing it was electric, rested my hand on the horse fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 595

You deserved it 9 342

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Same thing different taste

By electricpuddle - 25/04/2011 01:11

Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 822

You deserved it 4 037

Not so smooth criminal

By Anonymous - 14/08/2013 09:11 - United States - Sanford

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 317

You deserved it 6 858

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 18:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 734

You deserved it 2 734

By Anonymous - 11/09/2009 14:48 - Canada

Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 192

You deserved it 6 801

Dr Dolittle

By Anonymous - 06/12/2022 18:00

Today, I went with my family to visit my aunt, who lives on a farm. My brother told me that cows are ticklish and convinced me to go up and tickle one of the cows. The cow clearly wasn’t a fan, and I ended up being chased right into a lake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 1 111

Face it!

By MooCow - 13/07/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 598

You deserved it 15 792

Goodbye horses

By Anonymous - 23/10/2017 16:19

Today, my dad tried to help me overcome my intense fear of horses (due to nearly being killed by one as a child) by taking me to a ranch. Within 30 minutes, a horse bit my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 005

You deserved it 476

Goodbye horses

By Not Again! - 14/06/2019 04:16

Today, while riding a massive draft horse, the horse thought it would be fun to walk under a very low apple tree that sat level with his back. A branch hit me and made me fall off onto a coil of barbed wire, twisting my ankle in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 745

You deserved it 374

By mishyb - 28/07/2013 04:28 - United States - Englewood

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 481

You deserved it 4 347

By shando - 08/11/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 591

You deserved it 3 580

wolfe37 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 1:20

yeah you don't belong on a farm...stick to the city

GuyWithAGuitar 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 1:26

lMFAO. This could be a country song. Now alls that needs to happen is for your spouse to leave you and your dog to die.

Comments

Sevventh 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 21:50

City Slicker!

ilovelucy92 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 2:44

Things like this don't happen to normal people.. Your probably just a total idiot so I have no sympathy. :)

brenbert 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 2:57

I agree... farms suck!

theanonimouse 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 6:48

Okay, so these things happened first. Am I the only one wondering what happened second...?

gpstyne 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 9:07

you'll live STFU

mrsnicks 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:22

Stay home city-boy.

signature23 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 19:42

well this sounds real...=/

Zero198209 0

Friday 2 October 2009 4:16

THATS IT???? U WHINEY P#$$y.....U COULD HAVE BEEN RAPED BY A GOAT OR EVEN WORSE....A HORSE....GO FOOK A CHICKEN...LOSER!!!!!

PandaPandaPandaX 0

Sunday 4 October 2009 6:39

Haha I pictured a Loony Tunes cartoon or Three Stooges episode.

Mr_schadenfreude 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 18:05

Wait until they take you along for the traditional "get this city slicker to say hello to lunch" ritual, also known as REVENGE!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 886

You deserved it 61 114

Today, my dad has been faking social anxiety to make me feel like there's something wrong with me. How do I know? Because I actually have social anxiety, and he not only shows no symptoms of it, but he also has a lot of misconceptions about it that he would know are false if he actually did have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 180

The Top

Today, I was in a car accident, two days before Christmas. I'm now laying at home, not able to walk. My whole family thinks that I'm joking. A car drove over my foot, I'm not joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 102

You deserved it 1 779

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his parents' house when things started getting hot. Out of respect, we stopped and just cuddled, making us able to hear his parents banging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 248

You deserved it 3 661

Today, after 3 years of hard work, very little vacation and no raises, our boss got us a crappy box of drug store cookies as an employee appreciation gift. Which he ended up eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 669

You deserved it 1 536

Today, my 16-year-old cousin told me she was "late." When I asked if she could be pregnant, she said no, because, "You can't get pregnant the first time you have sex." I ended up having to give her the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 564

You deserved it 227

Today, my fiancé broke off our engagement after he saw one of my baby pictures. He said our future kids "just wouldn't look right." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 807

You deserved it 3 610

Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 876

You deserved it 3 772

Same thing different taste

Not so smooth criminal

Dr Dolittle

Face it!

Goodbye horses

Goodbye horses

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