Miscellaneous: Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got...

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 21:50 - Saudi Arabia - Dammam

Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 712

You deserved it 2 513

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/08/2012 22:50 - Mexico - Villahermosa

Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 048

You deserved it 1 962

Creepypasta time

By Saw - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking down the street, when a car started cruising alongside me. I looked over, annoyed, at which point the driver started screaming obscenities and telling me that I'm "gonna get it" for "betraying" him, before angrily speeding off. I'm too scared to even sleep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 006

You deserved it 2 717

By tryingtostealmyheart - 19/12/2015 07:12

Today, a total stranger asked me to marry him while we were waiting for the bus. I turned him down. He then pulled a knife on me, grabbed my purse and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 170

You deserved it 1 654

By Anonymous - 18/08/2012 00:20 - United States

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 545

You deserved it 1 851

By bTOhno - 13/08/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 058

You deserved it 4 732

What a tool

By kash - 01/06/2015 18:14 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend, when a guy pulled a knife and told us to hand over our money. My boyfriend blurted "I don't have shit, dude! She has tons of cash!" The moment the mugger turned to me, my boyfriend ran away at top speed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 070

You deserved it 3 216

Entitlement

By gotta_respond - 10/01/2015 19:22 - United States - Piscataway

Today, I went to the supermarket with my husband and kids. A crazy old man started yelling at us and challenged us to fight him outside. Security had to escort us to our car. Why was he so mad? Our cart momentarily blocked his path to the beef jerky samples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 606

You deserved it 3 389

By Josh - 06/03/2015 00:25 - United States - Fenton

Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 931

You deserved it 7 849

The road to hell

By notgoodwitholdpeople - 23/05/2014 16:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 846

You deserved it 3 117

By Jeff - 25/08/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 471

You deserved it 7 057

jkmartinjk 16

Friday 15 February 2013 2:52

You say 15 year old virgin like its a bad thing...

kakarot2 11

Friday 15 February 2013 2:52

Were you able to save your groceries?

Comments

emimimi 8

Friday 15 February 2013 4:50

Uh it's okay to be a 15 year old virgin... am I the only one who thinks that?

TurquoiseJesus 15

Friday 15 February 2013 5:01

Safe to assume you haven't read through any of the other comments then, yeah?

misspennycakes 7

Friday 15 February 2013 13:33

Uh it's not about him being a virgin fyl for not understanding a simple fml

Curtar2 18

Friday 15 February 2013 5:01

dude that sucks, did you at least save your groceries?

jmacfan1 16

Friday 15 February 2013 5:06

21 year old virgin reporting in over here. Seriously though getting chased by a wacko sucks for you op.

Hawaii84 16

Friday 15 February 2013 5:28

You are buying groceries at 15?

MidnaLink 33

Friday 15 February 2013 6:03

That's not that unusual. A former friend and I went to a grocery store near his house one time, and we were barely teens.

apax 9

Friday 15 February 2013 9:41

You can join the army at 16?

chinagirl3343 8

Friday 15 February 2013 6:03

Still? That's nothing to be ashamed of! Wait until you are emotionally ready goofy... And you can provide for the possible baby .

AddyGaming 8

Friday 15 February 2013 6:04

Since when can 15 year olds drive?

BigSexy123 11

Friday 15 February 2013 6:18

*headdesk*

AlexRen 21

Friday 15 February 2013 17:07

#50 he was being chased around the block. There's no car in this story.

XxGAMERxWOLFxX 1

Friday 15 February 2013 6:37

U thought u were gonna get stabbed and ur more worried about bein a 15 year old virgin? If u lost ur virginity before 15 im sorry but u got molested

MidnaLink 33

Friday 15 February 2013 14:22

That's only if it's non-consensual and the (for lack of a better word) partner is threatening you. Kinda like that two-part episode of all in the family.

happylawyer 16

Friday 15 February 2013 6:41

I am glad you ran fast enough to be able to tell the story. And... eh.... At 15, you are supposed to be a virgin. By the way, try keeping it like that as long as possible. Life will be less complicated.