Miscellaneous: Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own...

By Anonymous - 08/08/2015 05:18 - Canada

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 553

You deserved it 2 159

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By UncleMonkey - 06/03/2015 06:18 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 580

You deserved it 45 212

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 02:45 - United States

Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 216

You deserved it 6 252

Convoluted

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 04:00

Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 716

By Anonymous - 26/01/2019 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 125

You deserved it 389

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 481

You deserved it 554

Daddy's in the shit again

By habbsrule - 15/06/2012 14:21 - Canada

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 508

You deserved it 30 128

By gengiskarn69 - 12/03/2012 14:55 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 975

You deserved it 38 678

Vicious dog

By onefmlafteranother - 15/11/2019 01:00

Today, I was laying my head on my dad's dog when he walked in. I jokingly asked my dad, "I'm cuddling with your dog, are you jealous?" At that moment, the dog lets a massive, earth-quaking fart and my dad promptly responded, "Nope!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 687

You deserved it 585

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 807

You deserved it 36 005

By deerling - 18/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 938

You deserved it 342

Amateur_Dank 17

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:36

I would take the bitching just to watch someone farting their way into consciousness... these are the moments we live for

tygerarmy 35

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:35

Tell your dad to quit farting around.

Comments

arrowgold 19

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:58

Lol, now if only you could have caught it on video. Haha

christopherwilli 14

Sunday 9 August 2015 8:02

It's all ***** and giggles until someone starts bitching

kingkobrastrikes 13

Sunday 9 August 2015 11:32

it's all ***** and giggles until someone giggles and *****

tomfiedler22 4

Sunday 9 August 2015 8:09

Frickin' pickles man.

MRSwick2525 23

Sunday 9 August 2015 9:51

Two times that you had mentioned Pickles Dude, and it doesn't even have anything to do with these FML's or make sense. Do you have some sort of fascination? No don't answer that, I don't want to know.

MrZsDad 19

Sunday 9 August 2015 8:25

YDI because that is totally worth it! lol

Dick_diamond 22

Sunday 9 August 2015 13:13

I'm sure that made sense in your mind..

Andrewea 2

Tuesday 1 September 2015 6:53

It is a kind of compliment. As in, "OP, your life might suck, but you're a wonderful person, and you DESERVE to have good things like that happen to you."