Love: Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully...

By Anonymous - 21/05/2011 21:29 - Denmark

Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 418

You deserved it 34 831

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/08/2014 23:04 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 581

You deserved it 7 518

Good boy

By AgathedeBlouse - 18/11/2008 06:42 - France

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 565

You deserved it 25 171

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 696

You deserved it 2 385

Hold me close

By chachi - 28/09/2009 18:25 - United States

Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 126

You deserved it 6 758

By Anonymous - 24/01/2011 05:40 - Egypt

Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 680

You deserved it 4 334

By Anonymous - 24/10/2015 16:41 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 525

You deserved it 3 240

By TrulyYours - 07/05/2009 12:39 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 559

You deserved it 5 915

By Brinty - 16/09/2009 02:43 - Australia

Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 682

You deserved it 4 563

By Anonymous - 06/10/2011 15:23 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 882

You deserved it 11 308

By Maggie - 18/03/2013 19:38 - United States

Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 620

You deserved it 3 509

needleinmypants_fml 3

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:12

did you had a fun night? some ppl have animal fetishes. don't worry I respect it.

hiyourcute 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:17

There's no shame in puppy love

Comments

traze 7

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:19

Girl you to get out and find yourself a man seriously or you might find peps giving you weird looks.

daddyZHOM3 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:20

get some!

michaelm1290 23

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:21

Are you used to sleeping with gorilla juice heads that are as hairy as a dog?

sourgirl101 28

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:25

I guess you love your dog. Nothing wrong with that. (:

hellokat1 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:28

Yea Op, don't feel bad. Dogs are the best :)

KristinaKreme 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:33

Says the cat. ;]

hellokat1 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:46

Even though my dp is of my cat, my dogs are always #1.

iRCassxD 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:28

Aw. [:

mrahhhhh 21

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:34

Looks like you're that dog's bitch.

agSWAAAAG 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:35

you say good morning to your dog....I don't see why that's so bad. at least your not waking up to some random man

bubblekitty 1

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:36

dogs have personalities too

enonymous 8

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:37

Your dog must not have seen how the other 10 guy snuck out of your bed after a one night stand.

oSaraho_fml 2

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:39

and what's wrong with that?

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Dogs Animals Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

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I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 17

Today, my husband decided to flash me while I was on a video call, so my clients announced they would only work with professionals, and ended the call. I was giving a virtual showing of a £1.2 million house they were thinking of buying. At 6% commission, my husband's junk just cost us £72,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 406

You deserved it 276

The Top

Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 506

You deserved it 59 907

Today, I started a sport journalism degree. I was the only woman out of 60 students. The lecturer started talking about how we should all aspire to become sports editors of national newspapers. Later, he said women have no chance of ever becoming sports editors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 652

You deserved it 3 132

Today, I was in the bathroom at work when I ran out of toilet paper. There was another guy in the restroom so I asked him if he could hand me a roll. He laughed, called me a dumbass, turned off the lights and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 223

You deserved it 6 033

Today, it's been 14 years since at our wedding my now-husband lost the wedding ring, and we had to rush to buy another, which delayed the wedding and cost us our honeymoon flight and thousands of extra pounds. I just got his old suit out to dry clean. The missing ring was in its box, in his jacket. I'm going to kill him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 263

Today, it was my first time as a hockey referee, for a game played by 7-year-olds. At one point, a little boy tripped another boy. Doing my job, I gave him 2 minutes in the penalty box. After the game, I was attacked by a mob of parents. I was even given an optometrist's business card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 998

You deserved it 2 567

Today, I managed to get my 4-year-old son to agree that, "cigarettes are poop." I was a lot less proud of myself when he pointed at a 6-foot bodybuilder-type dude in the subway and yelled, "That man smells of pooooooop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 151

You deserved it 7 779

Same thing different taste

Good boy

Hold me close

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