Love: Today, I woke up to NYPD detectives banging on my door with flashlights,...

By ari - 17/06/2011 11:06 - United States

Today, I woke up to NYPD detectives banging on my door with flashlights, looking for some criminal who used to live in my house. Apparently, when they showed the man's mugshot to my neighbors upstairs, for some reason they identified the man as my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 642

You deserved it 3 023

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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By Pissed - 28/10/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 86

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 23:12 - Canada

Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked through the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 526

You deserved it 79 371

Memories

By exasperated - 17/04/2014 03:14 - United States - Houston

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories' sake". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 190

You deserved it 4 621

Never try this at home

By Anonymous - 06/08/2023 13:00 - United States - Grass Valley

Today, a bunch of cops showed up at my house demanding to see my wife to make sure she was OK. Turns out my insane out-of-state daughter swatted me, calling 911 to tell them I had tied up my wife, and been impersonating her for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033

You deserved it 134

By :(( - 25/04/2012 18:46 - United States - Saint Petersburg

Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 922

You deserved it 2 397

Confess!

By hitandrun - 10/08/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 225

You deserved it 76 118

By ThatAintLogical - 18/12/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I slipped as I was about to take a shower, knocking myself out cold. I woke up to someone banging on my door. It was a cop checking to see if I was okay. When I asked how he knew to come, he said he was notified by "a male neighbor who called anonymously." I guess I have a peeping Tom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 203

You deserved it 2 546

Leave me alone

By MIB - 13/07/2011 16:26 - United States

Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 737

You deserved it 2 824

By Ava_Darkflame - 01/01/2017 15:54 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 514

You deserved it 168

He's let himself go

By whatwasithinking - 14/10/2020 17:01

Today, I took my kids to our local swimming pool. When we arrived, there were several cop cars parked outside and a group of officers interrogating a creepy, haggard-looking old man who was in handcuffs on the bench. As we got closer, I realized the man was my ex-husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 320

You deserved it 148

luis72091 0

Friday 17 June 2011 15:53

you're married to a criminal lol

cgchamp89 7

Friday 17 June 2011 15:56

Used to? Maybe your husband is like the Craiglist killer and you just don't know it

Comments

sourgirl101 28

Friday 17 June 2011 16:30

And did they question your husband or was he out on a crime spree?

cgchamp89 7

Friday 17 June 2011 16:32

He had one foot out the window by the time she opened the door... not sure she had the chance lol

SexyQueen0905 24

Friday 17 June 2011 16:37

Yeah, or the Mad Butcher of Kingsbury Run returning!

Valdez_14 8

Friday 17 June 2011 16:42

My guess, your neighbors hate your husband and want him out!!! Sucks to be you!!

kipdjordy 0

Friday 17 June 2011 16:46

yea hes a criminal

Fayelyn 0

Friday 17 June 2011 16:48

I'm sorry your husband is a criminal.

jasminea 0

Friday 17 June 2011 16:50

hahaha, time to move(:

YourMomxD 8

Friday 17 June 2011 20:39

To Mexico!

jasminea 0

Saturday 18 June 2011 0:35

they're even worse there... try again(:

alex6946 10

Friday 17 June 2011 17:17

good morning! ;D

eirini2602 0

Friday 17 June 2011 17:21

woopsyyy

swimmer150733 6

Friday 17 June 2011 17:46

Lmfao damn that ****** sucks

The_Darth_Wabbit 3

Friday 17 June 2011 17:49

"i'm sorry officers, he is a bad boy, just not the type you're thinking."

Keywords

Miscellaneous TV shows Coworkers Work Awkward Politics Ironic Embarrassing Relatable Transportation Social Media Instagram Shopping Parenting Jealousy Love AITA Am I overreacting? Kids Dogs Friends Pranks Housework Cars Porn Technology Health Sports Accident Mental health

The Top

Today, I came out as lesbian and introduced my new girlfriend to my family. My mom angrily told me that I should have waited until my grandparents had died before coming out, and that I was "extremely disrespectful" for making this announcement. I honestly thought everyone would be fine with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 090

You deserved it 1 168

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 049

You deserved it 21 145

The Top

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend in his room, wearing his boxers. He told me this story about how one time he had diarrhea when he was stuck in traffic and had no choice but to shit himself. I asked him what prompted this story. He said I was wearing the boxers he'd pooped in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 730

You deserved it 5 443

Today, someone left a note on the front door saying, "Let's play Hide and Seek". Whoever left the note apparently took the wheels off my truck and scattered them. So far, I've found one in my pool, and two outside my neighbor's house. I still can't find the last one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 523

You deserved it 167

Today, at work, a customer called in and asked me to read off every item on our menu, along with their ingredients. I work at Jamba Juice so that's a lot of reading. After about 10 minutes of this, I found out it was actually my stupid co-worker calling from the back phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 247

You deserved it 9 960

Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 251

You deserved it 2 783

Today, my girlfriend accidentally put rubbish in the neighbour's bin. Then the old lady took all the rubbish out and threw it on the floor. I came out and tried to calm the situation, but then my girlfriend ran downstairs and tipped her cat food and cat milk bowls over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 170

Today, my friend is mad at me because last night at the midnight show, I “left him there” when he was drunk and thought it would be funny to take a dump in the theater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 96