Love: Today, I woke up to NYPD detectives banging on my door with flashlights,...

By ari - 17/06/2011 11:06 - United States

Today, I woke up to NYPD detectives banging on my door with flashlights, looking for some criminal who used to live in my house. Apparently, when they showed the man's mugshot to my neighbors upstairs, for some reason they identified the man as my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 643

You deserved it 3 023

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Gotcha

By Pissed - 28/10/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 87

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 23:12 - Canada

Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked through the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 526

You deserved it 79 371

Memories

By exasperated - 17/04/2014 03:14 - United States - Houston

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories' sake". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 190

You deserved it 4 621

Never try this at home

By Anonymous - 06/08/2023 13:00 - United States - Grass Valley

Today, a bunch of cops showed up at my house demanding to see my wife to make sure she was OK. Turns out my insane out-of-state daughter swatted me, calling 911 to tell them I had tied up my wife, and been impersonating her for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 134

By :(( - 25/04/2012 18:46 - United States - Saint Petersburg

Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 922

You deserved it 2 397

Confess!

By hitandrun - 10/08/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 225

You deserved it 76 119

By ThatAintLogical - 18/12/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I slipped as I was about to take a shower, knocking myself out cold. I woke up to someone banging on my door. It was a cop checking to see if I was okay. When I asked how he knew to come, he said he was notified by "a male neighbor who called anonymously." I guess I have a peeping Tom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 203

You deserved it 2 546

Leave me alone

By MIB - 13/07/2011 16:26 - United States

Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 737

You deserved it 2 825

By Ava_Darkflame - 01/01/2017 15:54 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 514

You deserved it 168

He's let himself go

By whatwasithinking - 14/10/2020 17:01

Today, I took my kids to our local swimming pool. When we arrived, there were several cop cars parked outside and a group of officers interrogating a creepy, haggard-looking old man who was in handcuffs on the bench. As we got closer, I realized the man was my ex-husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 320

You deserved it 148

luis72091 0

Friday 17 June 2011 15:53

you're married to a criminal lol

cgchamp89 7

Friday 17 June 2011 15:56

Used to? Maybe your husband is like the Craiglist killer and you just don't know it

Comments

airborn54 0

Friday 17 June 2011 15:53

fyl you shouldn't have married the achmed the animal ******

YacL 15

Friday 17 June 2011 15:56

So many things wrong with that comment.

mrT95 1

Friday 17 June 2011 21:36

thanks

luis72091 0

Friday 17 June 2011 15:53

you're married to a criminal lol

bravesfan112233 0

Friday 17 June 2011 16:06

run while you still can

Agiggleaday 0

Friday 17 June 2011 16:09

...Or maybe he is a criminal but hes a master of disguise.

Jimmyd0t 0

Friday 17 June 2011 16:12

craigslist killer! lol well at least they didn't show up with pointed guns

TheEricCartman 0

Friday 17 June 2011 17:00

My friend Kyle was arrested by Apple once, it was so COOL!

magentaballoon15 8

Friday 17 June 2011 17:19

^ i was about to ask if your bane was Cartmen, and then I realized it was:) Ps: I love ur name

YacL 15

Friday 17 June 2011 18:36

I wonder what the crimes committed were.

herrobear 0

Friday 17 June 2011 18:46

Admit it!! You killed him didn't you!!!

jamieleigh_315 0

Friday 17 June 2011 19:50

#18 I love ur pic hahaha

6joe9 0

Friday 17 June 2011 21:29

#67 isnt that you in the picture ???

6joe9 0

Friday 17 June 2011 23:34

#67 isn't that you in the pic ????

lovinj 2

Friday 17 June 2011 23:51

ouch!!!!! you just got burned!!!!

alexg823 0

Saturday 18 June 2011 1:53

Figuratively, of course.

winfieldALJD 6

Thursday 6 December 2012 2:28

#41's picture explains this perfectly.

secret_dragon 0

Friday 17 June 2011 15:55

you should report your neighbours to the police

lifesucks1234567_fml 2

Friday 17 June 2011 16:41

read the FML more carefully before you post comments like this

PassTheDutch 0

Friday 17 June 2011 19:02

think more before you post comments at all. secret dragon was clearly saying that to get back at the neighbors.

marix54888 0

Saturday 18 June 2011 5:50

well it doesn't say my neighbor upstairs, it say's my neighbors upstairs. so NYPD showed the picture to OP's neighbors upstairs, not her neighbors.

tinytimmy2 2

Saturday 18 June 2011 8:19

WTF are you saying?

numbers878 8

Saturday 18 June 2011 12:42

101 is probably saying that op lived in a apartment

Mcstud1y 30

Thursday 6 August 2015 23:31

Perfect revenge 3

cgchamp89 7

Friday 17 June 2011 15:56

Used to? Maybe your husband is like the Craiglist killer and you just don't know it

A7X_LoVeee 10

Friday 17 June 2011 15:57

Hey, I saw that movie on Lifetime!

JesusFishTaco 5

Friday 17 June 2011 20:45

I wanna play this FML in LA Noire.

imacreeper 3

Friday 17 June 2011 22:42

The movie was awful:(

A7X_LoVeee 10

Saturday 18 June 2011 2:28

I would say 98% of Lifetime movies are.

Niqhtware 6

Friday 17 June 2011 15:56

Looks like someone has a dark past.

1215116a 14

Friday 17 June 2011 18:27

This has nothing to do with the FML, but why is your profile picture of a dissected animal?

BigOrca 2

Friday 17 June 2011 15:57

maybe he has a secret life. he is a criminal and when he says he is going to work he is really doing illegal activities.

justSTOPx100 5

Friday 17 June 2011 16:25

yeah, i feel enlightened. thank you.

hollysterT 0

Friday 17 June 2011 17:36

I didn't ;)

kiketag 0

Friday 17 June 2011 21:46

remember everything hitler did was legal

sparta98 4

Saturday 18 June 2011 4:05

Actually, 74, I think Hitler was guilty of Homocide by Omission. Since he was married to Eva Braun, he had legal obligations to care for her, which he failed to fulfill.