Health: Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so... - FML

By blarghhhh - 28/02/2016 14:58 - United States - Owosso

Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 056

You deserved it 1 383

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Same thing different taste

By fuckmyassimcold - 14/12/2012 19:19 - United States

Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 975

You deserved it 79 364

By Anonymous - 16/03/2013 18:55 - United States - Escondido

Today, I have the flu. I had to wash the dishes, cook dinner, take out the trash, and take care of the laundry, all while my wife sat around watching TV, because she was "too tired". I work 8 hours a day. She's a college student. She doesn't see what's so unfair about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 388

You deserved it 8 229

Sick day

By *cough* *cough* you're a dickface - 27/06/2015 05:48 - United States - Mckeesport

Today, I have the flu, so I called my boss to let him know I couldn't come in today. He told me to think my "lies" through better, and claimed that you can only get the flu during winter. So I guess I'm faking my pale skin, short breath, runny nose, and constant sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 496

You deserved it 1 970

Caring

By Anonymous - 18/12/2020 23:58 - Antigua and Barbuda - Saint John's

Today, I woke up with a fever, headache and sore throat. All the symptoms of Covid-19. I told my husband, whose responded with, "Sack up and get over yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 201

By Anonymous - 22/06/2016 12:36 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 391

You deserved it 1 493

By Anonymous - 26/12/2012 04:56 - United States - Medina

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 628

You deserved it 3 785

Sick

By Anonymous - 01/07/2009 03:25 - Australia

Today, I was supposed to work with this girl I really like, but I had the flu really bad. I really really wanted to see her so I forced myself out of bed and went to work feeling terrible but determined to see her face. When I got to work I asked where she was. She had called in sick with the flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 144

You deserved it 17 933

By lk07 - 23/04/2019 12:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, I'm stuck in bed with a fever, aches, and nasty cough. My kids and husband had it too, and kept coughing without covering their mouths, despite my asking several times so I wouldn't get sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 057

You deserved it 396

By ZPyRoGoDz - 30/10/2009 06:25 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked why, she replied with "You don't go out anymore. All you do is lay in bed." I've had the flu for the past week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 471

You deserved it 2 563

By noworkformeplease - 09/03/2017 16:00

Today, I had to call out of work because I was ill, but they didn't believe me because today was the day I was supposed to come back from vacation. Now I'm stuck at work, constantly running to the bathroom, and they still won't let me go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 266

You deserved it 381

Next

Top comments

Candijpg 17

Monday 29 February 2016 7:35

date night in a bathroom

Setareh23 34

Monday 29 February 2016 8:05

Wow. Unless you have a habit of faking illnesses or cancelling dates for bogus reasons, it was kinda asshole-ish of him not to trust you. And even then, if you are crying and begging for the hospital, refusing is potentially putting your health at risk due to his own anger. I'm glad he is taking care of you now though...he better have apologized! Anyways, I hope your recovery goes smoothly. Appendicitis seriously sucks! xD

Comments

penguinprincess5 8

Monday 29 February 2016 16:52

That's not true at all. I won't go to the doctor unless I'm absolutely miserable. If it's something that can be taken care of at home I'm not going to waste the doctors time.

AviShtap 20

Monday 29 February 2016 18:40

Ayy, OP, we're flu buddies!! Hm...I wonder how many people have the flu right now.

tomvertigo 17

Monday 29 February 2016 19:06

Come here, honey. Give me a kiss.

ChiefKoala 30

Monday 29 February 2016 22:13

Next time you feel the urge to go, tell her to come here and shit with the door open(and vomit if you're experiencing that too) while maintaining eye contact.

Rainyknights22 16

Monday 29 February 2016 23:50

Even when you're right, you're wrong.

sweeneytodd6 6

Tuesday 1 March 2016 1:13

OMG, my sister just got the flu too! Must be going around Michigan :O *It wasn't the stomach flu though...real flu

militarybrat 21

Tuesday 1 March 2016 5:00

*stomach virus. Fixed.

suckceed 17

Tuesday 1 March 2016 7:35

Marriage counselling stat, there seems to be sort of breakdown of trust that leads your wife to not believe you.

guttedbrit 26

Tuesday 1 March 2016 9:16

Been there, myself. Being dragged about while sick. But your wife will realise you're not faking when you're absent most of the time, then maybe she will rethink.

Jessika706 14

Tuesday 1 March 2016 10:33

Well do you usually complain about date night? There must be a reason why she would think that? I mean really she thinks ur faking being on the toilet???

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