Health: Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so... - FML

By blarghhhh - 28/02/2016 14:58 - United States - Owosso

Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 056

You deserved it 1 383

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Same thing different taste

By fuckmyassimcold - 14/12/2012 19:19 - United States

Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 975

You deserved it 79 364

By Anonymous - 16/03/2013 18:55 - United States - Escondido

Today, I have the flu. I had to wash the dishes, cook dinner, take out the trash, and take care of the laundry, all while my wife sat around watching TV, because she was "too tired". I work 8 hours a day. She's a college student. She doesn't see what's so unfair about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 388

You deserved it 8 229

Sick day

By *cough* *cough* you're a dickface - 27/06/2015 05:48 - United States - Mckeesport

Today, I have the flu, so I called my boss to let him know I couldn't come in today. He told me to think my "lies" through better, and claimed that you can only get the flu during winter. So I guess I'm faking my pale skin, short breath, runny nose, and constant sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 496

You deserved it 1 970

Caring

By Anonymous - 18/12/2020 23:58 - Antigua and Barbuda - Saint John's

Today, I woke up with a fever, headache and sore throat. All the symptoms of Covid-19. I told my husband, whose responded with, "Sack up and get over yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 201

By Anonymous - 22/06/2016 12:36 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 391

You deserved it 1 493

By Anonymous - 26/12/2012 04:56 - United States - Medina

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 628

You deserved it 3 785

Sick

By Anonymous - 01/07/2009 03:25 - Australia

Today, I was supposed to work with this girl I really like, but I had the flu really bad. I really really wanted to see her so I forced myself out of bed and went to work feeling terrible but determined to see her face. When I got to work I asked where she was. She had called in sick with the flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 144

You deserved it 17 932

By lk07 - 23/04/2019 12:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, I'm stuck in bed with a fever, aches, and nasty cough. My kids and husband had it too, and kept coughing without covering their mouths, despite my asking several times so I wouldn't get sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 057

You deserved it 395

By ZPyRoGoDz - 30/10/2009 06:25 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked why, she replied with "You don't go out anymore. All you do is lay in bed." I've had the flu for the past week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 470

You deserved it 2 563

By noworkformeplease - 09/03/2017 16:00

Today, I had to call out of work because I was ill, but they didn't believe me because today was the day I was supposed to come back from vacation. Now I'm stuck at work, constantly running to the bathroom, and they still won't let me go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 266

You deserved it 381

Next

Top comments

Candijpg 17

Monday 29 February 2016 7:35

date night in a bathroom

Setareh23 34

Monday 29 February 2016 8:05

Wow. Unless you have a habit of faking illnesses or cancelling dates for bogus reasons, it was kinda asshole-ish of him not to trust you. And even then, if you are crying and begging for the hospital, refusing is potentially putting your health at risk due to his own anger. I'm glad he is taking care of you now though...he better have apologized! Anyways, I hope your recovery goes smoothly. Appendicitis seriously sucks! xD

Comments

weird_adult 27

Monday 29 February 2016 7:32

Sounds like my comments suck

PotatoesAndCake 26

Monday 29 February 2016 11:22

Sounds like an over-used joke

Dale_shackleford 13

Monday 29 February 2016 13:56

Go back to ifunny number 1

Vagitarian4life 14

Monday 29 February 2016 7:33

Invite her into the restroom with you next time.

CheekyRaccoon 27

Monday 29 February 2016 8:24

Yeah, that's the spirit. Light some candles, throw down some rose petals and play some Kenny G, it'll be fully sick.

andrmac 25

Tuesday 1 March 2016 0:41

Caring means sharing.

Candijpg 17

Monday 29 February 2016 7:35

date night in a bathroom

KhaleesiDannie 26

Monday 29 February 2016 7:38

I'm sorry that happened OP you think she'd be more sympathetic something similar happened to me and my husband for our anniversary I hope you get better

Ashd09 30

Monday 29 February 2016 15:50

Punctuation. Use it please

KhaleesiDannie 26

Monday 29 February 2016 17:28

Nah don't care enough over the Internet to be happy I at least spell things correctly most of the time

herpderp1234 17

Monday 29 February 2016 7:40

It's that time of year...

Furcorn_57 17

Monday 29 February 2016 7:41

FYL, OP. I hate it when people think that you're faking it, although you probably aren't. I agree with everyone else, so far.

Furcorn_57 17

Monday 29 February 2016 7:46

Good luck, OP!

nightstalker94 18

Monday 29 February 2016 8:00

That's what I call a sticky situation

Setareh23 34

Monday 29 February 2016 8:05

Wow. Unless you have a habit of faking illnesses or cancelling dates for bogus reasons, it was kinda asshole-ish of him not to trust you. And even then, if you are crying and begging for the hospital, refusing is potentially putting your health at risk due to his own anger. I'm glad he is taking care of you now though...he better have apologized! Anyways, I hope your recovery goes smoothly. Appendicitis seriously sucks! xD

evanmurphy 14

Monday 29 February 2016 8:30

I like the taste of sweat.

HelloKiittyy 22

Monday 29 February 2016 8:30

Tell her you'll make it up to her! And try your best to make it very special

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 052

You deserved it 8 438

Today, while driving with my family, the car got stuck in a large patch of mud. My family of seven decided that I, the fifteen year old girl, would be best suited to push it out. After slipping, falling, and getting completely covered in mud, they finally called a tow truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 255

You deserved it 3 821

The Top

Today, I dreamt that I was using the toilet. The toilet was a dream, but the rest wasn't. My pants were soaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 154

Today, I couldn't get into my car. In an attempt to get in, I broke a window. As I climbed in, the actual owner of the car walked up. Mine was across the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 435

You deserved it 46 317

Today, I had to explain to my 35-year-old husband that "Honda" and "Hyundai" are two separate car companies, not to two different pronunciations of the same one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 211

You deserved it 2 152

Today, my parents yet again spent over ten minutes discussing and joking about something minor about me, in this case my preference for Pepper Jack cheese over American. They've done this my whole life, and refuse to understand why I suffer from such crippling self-consciousness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 177

Today, I cursed out a school bus driver for blocking me from making a turn. What’s wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 1 055

Today, I was walking in the mall and passed one of the hair product booths (with the people who constanly harrass you as you walk by). In front of half of the mall the woman working there told me that she had several products that I could use to touch up my roots. I'm a natural red head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 724

You deserved it 2 651