Miscellaneous: Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry....

By oops - 11/05/2015 16:40 - United States - Lutherville Timonium

Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 485

You deserved it 9 897

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Forgetting something?

By Julez - 14/01/2012 16:14 - United States

Today, I was trying on some new pants in the fitting room at a store. I was so overcome with joy when I noticed that I had dropped two pant sizes, that when I took them off and went outside to pay for them, I realized I forgot to put back on my original jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 318

You deserved it 13 692

Simple answer

By pathetic - 29/05/2009 02:35 - Canada

Today, while getting ready for work, I realized that all my pants were getting a bit tight. When I got home from work, I went in to the bathroom and stood on the scale, which confirmed that I have gained a few pounds. I then realized that I was eating while standing on the scale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 076

You deserved it 59 346

By Anonymous - 13/04/2012 10:32 - United States - Singapore

Today, I was bragging about how I had lost 10 pounds. Grinning, I pulled my shirt up and tried to show how big my jeans were on me. Instead, the button flew off my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 857

You deserved it 30 267

By woodchuck0022 - 21/05/2011 21:16 - Canada

Today, my pants felt a little looser than usual. Thinking I'd lost weight, I proudly went about my day. It wasn't until much later that I realised I hadn't lost any weight at all; my fly was down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 433

You deserved it 30 847

Looking like a fool...

By Pantsontheground - 09/08/2018 12:30 - United States - New York

Today, my pants kept falling down. Since I didn't have a belt on, I decided to tuck the waistband around my underwear to keep them in place. While on a date, I tried to adjust my pants, but ended up pulling them down along with my boxers. In the middle of a restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 3 038

Busted

By Anonymous - 11/04/2021 08:00

Today, I felt like cheating on my diet and ordered a pizza. My mom and my sister were napping, so I put in the delivery notes, “Please don’t knock.” The delivery guy knocked anyway. LOUD. My mom and sister got up and saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 1 275

XXL

By Anonymous - 07/08/2020 23:01

Today, after losing 20 pounds, I decided to purchase new clothes. All of the clothes at the store were still too small for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 282

Whoops

By Teen - 24/01/2009 23:28 - United States

Today, I was trying on clothes in a store that had just screens set up for changing. As I took off the first pair of pants had I tried on, my foot got hooked in the cuff and I fell out in my underwear in front of the whole store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 136

You deserved it 3 015

By hoaloha - 30/07/2012 04:40 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I went to the store to buy some new shirts. I tried them on and none of them fit. When I walked out to return the shirts, everybody was staring at me. I looked down to see why. I'd forgotten to put my original shirt back on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 232

You deserved it 24 918

By Pouponette - 16/06/2016 11:07 - France

Today, the pizza delivery guy saw me in my underwear. My boyfriend is so ashamed of me that he pointed out to the guy twice that we were just roommates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 121

You deserved it 1 713

PrinceOfBritain 20

Tuesday 12 May 2015 0:06

This sounds like the beginning of an adult movie

gearhead369 20

Tuesday 12 May 2015 0:06

I guess he got his tip a different way!

Comments

Silk_Routes 14

Tuesday 12 May 2015 4:46

mm impressive..pizza served!

lildiva7620 18

Tuesday 12 May 2015 4:52

sit ups and hundreds

Johnem 10

Tuesday 12 May 2015 4:59

sounds like the start of a porno

ColonelCusswords 24

Tuesday 12 May 2015 5:08

Price to pay for being sexy

PurpleMyth 28

Tuesday 12 May 2015 6:06

I'm certain that SHE was wearing a shirt

kavyashahs 16

Tuesday 12 May 2015 6:33

Later?

kavyashahs 16

Tuesday 12 May 2015 7:23

First take away the pizzas, pizza's more important.

Destinee_1 13

Tuesday 12 May 2015 8:16

Why would you care if the pizza guy thought you looked heavy in the first place?

Papersock 20

Tuesday 12 May 2015 8:57

I hope you were wearing something inside...

daemonsparta 16

Tuesday 12 May 2015 10:49

ydi for caring what the pizza guy thought of your appearance

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 536

You deserved it 65 008

Today, I fulfilled my lifelong dream of going on a family trip to Disneyland. Less than two hours in the park, my kids have been scared shitless by every single character, they don’t want to ride any rides, my husband is drunk, and the mouse ears headband gave me a vomit-inducing migraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 151

You deserved it 361

The Top

Today, I opened the cupboard and a bag of flour fell on my head, covering me from head to toe. Last night I got drunk, and set some booby traps up around the house for my roommate. I'd forgot that my roommate moved out a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 629

You deserved it 21 941

Today, I played Connect Four with a gay guy who was clearly hitting on me for an hour. When he asked why I didn’t want to go to his place, I told him that I’m straight and married. He asked why I played with him for so long, so I told him, “My wife sucks at Connect Four.” He called me a cocktease and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 646

You deserved it 589

Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 444

You deserved it 36 355

Today, I learned that when your mom threatens to embarrass you by singing in public, the wrong response is, "Yeah? I dare you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 382

You deserved it 47 880

Today, I got accused of trying to steal clothes because I was taking so long in the fitting rooms with only a couple of items. I got stuck in one of the shirts I was trying on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 360

You deserved it 5 399

Today, I took a picture of my boobs and sent it to my boyfriend, only to realize after I hit "Send" that I had sent them to the taxi driver (my last phone call) who had just dropped me off at my house. He won't stop calling my phone now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 608

You deserved it 57 653