Miscellaneous: Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out... - FML

By not a shitty situation so fuck you - 24/06/2016 22:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 850

You deserved it 773

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 05:26

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 436

You deserved it 4 697

Oh, hello there, don't mind me

By downinthedumps - 13/01/2015 02:47 - United States - Detroit

Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 997

You deserved it 3 340

We could be heroes

By OhPleaseNo - 07/04/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 711

You deserved it 204

By Oh dear - 05/07/2012 22:15 - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines - Kingstown

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 619

You deserved it 2 732

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 788

You deserved it 11 865

Not now, Kelsey

By Amy - 01/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 713

You deserved it 7 258

Typical Ohia public bathroom

By Anonymous - 18/09/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the toilet when a dude broke into my stall, screamed, "No time to explain!" and ran out with a toilet paper roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 60

By teaspoonzz - 25/10/2017 15:00

Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 632

You deserved it 286

By feelinnauseous - 24/06/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 992

You deserved it 15 729

Stranger danger

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 16:35 - United States - Calhoun

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 563

You deserved it 2 814

Next

Top comments

ragnarok1540 39

Saturday 25 June 2016 9:08

This is the exact kind of situation that warrants a more secure locking mechanism on bathroom stall doors instead of flimsy latches! I would favor one of those old fashioned wooden drop bar type barricades. That way, if the idiot gives up kicking the door and tries to crawl under, you can use the wooden beam as a makeshift club ...

dawnimus 21

Saturday 25 June 2016 8:54

OPs username here is super apt. Hope you got cleaned up ok, that's grim!

Comments

dawnimus 21

Saturday 25 June 2016 8:54

OPs username here is super apt. Hope you got cleaned up ok, that's grim!

nexus94 14

Saturday 25 June 2016 9:07

I voted YDI by accident. I can't imagine why anyone would think YDI.

laden_swallow09 34

Saturday 25 June 2016 15:49

I did, too. You used to be able to take back your votes when that happened. On mobile, anyway.

ragnarok1540 39

Saturday 25 June 2016 9:08

This is the exact kind of situation that warrants a more secure locking mechanism on bathroom stall doors instead of flimsy latches! I would favor one of those old fashioned wooden drop bar type barricades. That way, if the idiot gives up kicking the door and tries to crawl under, you can use the wooden beam as a makeshift club ...

arano 29

Saturday 25 June 2016 9:09

How did he puke on you through the locked door...?

Dilexar 26

Saturday 25 June 2016 9:15

He kicked the door open.

ragnarok1540 39

Saturday 25 June 2016 9:15

Re-read the FML. The door was kicked in by the assailant, who then vomited on the OP. Those flimsy door latches couldn't keep the wind out.

SilioMarwolaeth 23

Saturday 25 June 2016 9:18

I guess you missed the "kicked in the stall door" part...

arano 29

Saturday 25 June 2016 14:43

My fault. I thought it said the guy was *trying* to kick the door in. This is what happens when you get on FML while you're drunk lol.

manpaws123 6

Saturday 25 June 2016 9:29

was his name Ralph?

StarkWolf_fml 23

Saturday 25 June 2016 9:33

ever seen scary movie 3?

Le_ponderer 14

Saturday 25 June 2016 11:18

Luckily, he didn't try to chew your face OP. Looking for a sliver lining...

jeliza210 5

Saturday 25 June 2016 11:55

Did he yell "Oh Yeahhh!" like the kool-aid man?

ShleeG 23

Saturday 25 June 2016 14:28

he mighta been too busy puking on OP

leJar 14

Saturday 25 June 2016 14:05

Guys, it's clearly not a shitty situation so I'm gonna stop your thought right here.

ShleeG 23

Saturday 25 June 2016 14:24

OP already took care of that

ShleeG 23

Saturday 25 June 2016 14:26

that sounds disgusting... I don't know what I'd do if it were me. I'm sorry OP... hope you were able to wash up quickly and didn't have to sit in puke for too long

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The Top

Today, my new wife and I got back from our honeymoon. Her parents had dropped our wedding gifts off at our apartment, but didn't lock the door. We came home to start off our new life together to a wrecked apartment and no gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 407

You deserved it 3 021

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 502

You deserved it 15 065

The Top

Today, I was attacked with the classic "I fucked your mom" joke. I calmly informed the troll that my mom is 51, obese, still married to my father after 20+ years, and, most importantly, had a life-saving hysterectomy when I was five. He still insisted that he did the act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 1 218

Today, I realized just how bad my life had become when the doctor said I was likely to survive my severe case of Covid and I was disappointed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 508

You deserved it 204

Today, I rear-ended a car. While we were waiting for the police, we made small talk, at which point I learned that he was an attorney. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 391

You deserved it 8 537

Today, after spending thousands of dollars on remodelling and painting our house, making it exactly how we wanted it, my husband's grandma passed away, leaving us her house. I’m debating on ripping everything out and taking it to the new house my hubby is so eager to move into now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 660

You deserved it 398

Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 446

You deserved it 5 478

Today, my mom found a box full of stuff she had been looking for. She started going through it and found baby pictures of my sister and me, as well as pictures of the cats. She put my baby pictures back in the box and closed the lid. The cat pictures are now hanging in her living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 987

You deserved it 3 844