Holidays: Today, in honor of America's birthday, my 50-year-old father...

By Bacon0426 - 04/07/2016 21:03 - United States - Skaneateles

Today, in honor of America's birthday, my 50-year-old father decided to light off homemade bombs without telling anyone. The screams of me and my family members were louder than the bombs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 774

You deserved it 1 117

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Same thing different taste

By Singed - 04/07/2009 17:31 - United States

Today, my dad woke me up by shaking me and saying "If you're not up in two minutes, I'm lighting a firecracker in your room." Thinking he wouldn't possibly set off a firecracker in the house, much less my room, I decided to call his bluff. My room still smells like gunpowder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 369

You deserved it 43 637

Catching strays

By Anonymous - 04/06/2024 13:00 - United States - St Louis

Today, I heard something that sounded like a series of gunshots outside my house. My Dad screamed, "Get down!" at the top of his lungs. The whole family immediately dropped to the floor, my sister whimpering and trembling, only moments later to hear my Dad cackling uncontrollably over us. They were just fireworks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 98

By SaggyBoy135 - 12/07/2011 12:19 - United States

Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 934

You deserved it 3 578

By Anonymous - 02/01/2016 16:09 - United States - San Mateo

Today, I found out that you can give your grandpa a Vietnam flashback when you set off a leftover firecracker from New Years. I also found out that a 76 year old hits pretty fucking hard when freaking out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 249

You deserved it 8 380

By Anonymous - 06/01/2015 16:40 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 619

You deserved it 4 701

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 15:44 - United States

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 579

You deserved it 2 558

This party is lit

By Tyler_Padgett - 24/05/2009 23:52 - United States

Today, I was lighting fireworks for my cousin's birthday in my grandmother's yard. When it came time to light the "Grand Finale", I read on the outside of the box, "Face this side towards crowd for the best result". After I lit it, I realized that it was on its side. I shot 100 fireworks at my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 979

You deserved it 59 140

By ILiveWithMorons - 12/04/2011 03:07 - United States

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 395

You deserved it 3 344

By bellerz14 - 23/12/2011 02:58 - United States

Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 998

You deserved it 4 223

You're in the army now, oh ohoh

By Anonymous - 01/07/2020 17:03

Today, my dad set the smoke alarm off at 6 a.m. as a "practice drill." I was woken up so suddenly, I fell out of bed into the bucket of sick I had been throwing up into the night before due to flu. Dad yelled at me for not getting out of the house in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 670

You deserved it 163

cheyluvsturtles 30

Tuesday 5 July 2016 10:31

just be glad you still have a house. I am guessing he was to cheap to buy normal fireworks.

christophbak 14

Tuesday 5 July 2016 10:28

Atleast no one got hurt... I hope

Comments

moodyreallyrocks 27

Tuesday 5 July 2016 14:40

Fireworks are dangerous, in general, but homemade fireworks could be especially hazardous. Hope no one got hurt OP, don't let it ruin your celebrations!!

kat2943 20

Tuesday 5 July 2016 16:17

Am I the only one who's going to point out the 'America's birthday' thing?

gracehi 31

Tuesday 5 July 2016 18:48

No, someone beat you to it.

MandieL 27

Wednesday 6 July 2016 0:35

And even Wikipedia calls it Americas birthday. I guess it depends who taught you as there are a few dates you could use, depending on your outlook

CloudNiner 13

Tuesday 5 July 2016 16:52

I support you're grandfather

chosha_fml 26

Tuesday 5 July 2016 17:16

Is he trying to win a Darwin Award?

toolazytotype99 18

Tuesday 5 July 2016 17:57

Hoorah

zedjaleaf1 11

Tuesday 5 July 2016 19:28

So that's what happened in Central Park.

RosaMaravillosa 10

Tuesday 5 July 2016 20:48

that's not ok, and kinda scary. I mean, who thinks 'You know what would really rock at this party. bombs.'

interesting33 36

Tuesday 5 July 2016 21:01

That was idiotic

umirin534 12

Wednesday 6 July 2016 1:06

Where was the police to shoot anyone of you (randomly)? Oh and your dad? A classic day in murica where people play with guns and heavy fireworks! So don't be too harsh to him, not his fault for being American!