Miscellaneous: Today, it's my wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me...

By sharibaby - 30/04/2013 21:26 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, it's my wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look like The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine my doctor gave me only irritates it more. My future husband asks, "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 876

You deserved it 4 087

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Same thing different taste

Make it stop

By Ow ow owwww - 15/08/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, I have what is probably a cold sore on my upper lip. I also have a mustache, which keeps rubbing against it. Because of this, no matter what I do, it stings. The next few days are fixing to be very, very long and miserable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 181

What's up with your nose?

By Anonymous - 29/05/2022 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my brother and his girlfriend got married. I got a pretty bad pimple on my nose not long before, and I'd tried to pop it. It turned into a really bad scab instead, so I put makeup on it. I didn't notice until after the wedding that the makeup made the scab look badly infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 193

The best day of your life

By squirt - 05/07/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, was my wedding day. Right before I walked down the aisle in my gorgeous white dress, the woman who did my makeup saw a blemish. She went to squirt concealer on her finger, but squirted the orange concealer all over my dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 117

You deserved it 3 564

Best day of my life

By Cherub - 03/05/2009 22:16 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my wedding day. It was meant to be perfect. The bouquet, along with a high pollen count, set my hay fever off. I walked down the aisle in front of 200 people with streaming eyes and a runny nose; I then had a sneezing fit during my vows and blew a large snot bubble. Real attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 093

You deserved it 7 827

By Anonymous - 10/07/2015 17:07 - United States

Today, as always, I have a type of eczema that flares up when I'm stressed out or anxious. And today, the girl I've been in love with for 4 years asked me out on a date. We meet up in a few hours, and right now I look like I have smallpox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 617

You deserved it 1 752

By Hurtingincanada - 17/10/2018 05:00

Today, I woke up with bronchitis and hemorrhoids. I'm getting married in 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 121

You deserved it 200

By NocturnalFox - 25/08/2015 19:46 - Czech Republic - Plzen

Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Right before the date, I noticed a monstrous pimple in the middle of my forehead. I covered it with make-up, but it was still visible. The guy spent the whole evening laughing at me and telling me that I look like an unicorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 923

You deserved it 2 207

By stachattack - 23/12/2017 15:00

Today, I reassured everyone at work that the mark on my lip was just a pimple, not a cold sore. It's actually neither. I, a 21-year-old young woman, slipped while shaving my moustache and sliced off part of my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 910

You deserved it 636

PTSD Andy

By Anonymous - 21/10/2023 05:00

Today, poorly applied makeup made it look like I have a black eye in most of my wedding photos. I would have laughed it off, but I was showing them to my brother who was deployed during the actual wedding. He saw the black eye, assumed it was domestic abuse, and attacked my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 160

By Anonymous - 19/11/2009 13:36 - Sweden

Today, my boyfriend gave me an early wedding present. I opened the box and inside was the most adorable cat I've ever seen! It got scared, jumped out, clawed my face and pissed everywhere. My wedding is tomorrow and I look like Frankenstein's bride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 890

You deserved it 3 858

Magic_Mushroom 7

Wednesday 1 May 2013 9:19

Ask him if he wants to see a magic trick.

NickaPLZ 26

Wednesday 1 May 2013 9:19

Congrats on your wedding.

Comments

mccutie936 6

Thursday 2 May 2013 4:15

...acyclovir. Usually they give it to people with the genital herps but it works super well for cold sores.

Shade1982 20

Thursday 2 May 2013 13:08

That actually makes sense, since cold sore is a form of herpes...

mccutie936 6

Friday 3 May 2013 3:53

I know that and you know that but do you think the average person on fml thinks herpes is anything but genital?

chinagirl3343 8

Thursday 2 May 2013 5:42

You married a child. What idiot would say that to his wife in their wedding dat?

fmaffei10 3

Thursday 2 May 2013 6:04

Thermal water, the best thing there is for cold sores, no kidding!

thandidavis 17

Thursday 2 May 2013 7:59

Put some windex on it!

ashjo 12

Thursday 2 May 2013 16:41

At least he's humorous...

Leki_0609 11

Thursday 2 May 2013 21:56

I gotta say, I'm curious as to how you look.

Kuhu1993 21

Saturday 4 May 2013 7:22

You guys will live a long and happy life :D

TimmaysRoXy 9

Saturday 4 May 2013 11:15

Put Windex on it!! ;-)

fantasyworld 37

Tuesday 17 March 2015 0:30

He has a good humor about it.

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The Top

Today, my parents told me that unless I think about my behaviour and make some real changes, people are going to think I’m weird or suspicious, and I’ll never make friends. This is because I choose to attend church on Sundays instead of watching TV and getting drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 277

Today, I was working a concert ticket booth. A lady gave me her ticket, I punched it, and told her to enjoy the show. She asked for the “hotel.” Apparently, she thought that the concert ticket cost included a hotel stay, since she traveled from out of state. She cussed me out and had to be escorted out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 333

You deserved it 76

The Top

Today, I finally got around to cleaning out my mother's things after her passing. In the process I found a fancy box. What did it contain? A collection of crack pipes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 962

You deserved it 3 210

Today, after my wife had been bleeding when we have sex, the doctors sent her to hospital. While she was there overnight, I decided to masturbate at home. Turns out it was me. I have blood in my semen and was shooting it into her during sex. Glad she’s OK, but what the hell is wrong with my balls? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 172

Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 467

Today, I was having rough sex when I breathed too heavily with a dry throat, and puked on the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 268

Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get my builder bear that I had stuffed my condoms in. The bear was gone. My dad gave it to charity. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks 52 262

You deserved it 19 009

Today, my husband was choosing an auto insurance. Geico was $500 and Allstate was $200. He chose Geico because it had a 'cute little lizard.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 808

You deserved it 4 913