Kids: Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams...

By chelserusera - 14/05/2009 01:45 - United States

Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML

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Same thing different taste

Gummy

By madeleine - 08/04/2021 05:00

Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML

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By gross - 06/08/2015 17:28 - United States

Today, I asked my one-year-old to come and give mommy a kiss. She did and it was really sweet, until she tried to spit a piece of dog food into my mouth. FML

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By ManchotDesAndes - 26/02/2015 07:35 - France - Bezons

Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 303

You deserved it 11 166

By Lisaa918 - 10/06/2009 14:49 - United States

Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 200

You deserved it 6 185

By nutrigrain123 - 23/05/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML

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Nice of her

By Bill - 06/12/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 965

You deserved it 18 122

By laughxlove - 23/08/2010 04:03 - United States

Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML

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You deserved it 32 986

Flustered

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML

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You deserved it 110

By nutsucker - 08/03/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 530

You deserved it 10 867

By shoelace18 - 06/09/2009 04:19 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 886

You deserved it 5 972

amsilent 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 10:39

rofl. that's kind of cute, yet gross.

jumpgurl23 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 10:46

kids do the darndest thing

Comments

bettiewest 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 23:33

Wow, my son did something very similar to that, but with a corndog. Thank god I saw him pull it out of his pull-up first.

dlmargolis09 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 23:36

that's wrong, but she's young. that's comical. i love kids!

ACDCfan 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 23:41

Gross, but at least the thought was nice.

lolthatsasucker 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 23:50

Grosss, but hilarious! Kid's are so funny!

Zenphor 3

Thursday 14 May 2009 23:58

LMAO. Enjoy your crotch cookies?

PenguinBob 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 23:59

YDI for eating the last one

omcrd225 0

Friday 15 May 2009 0:04

This is why I don't want kids...

nmx 0

Friday 15 May 2009 0:08

I dunno, maybe you should pay closer attention to your three year old.

pmzz678 0

Friday 15 May 2009 0:08

that is great! i love small children!!

PureGold 0

Friday 15 May 2009 0:37

HAHAHAHA wow, that's gross xP The way this was written made it even funnier lol. And when my sister was little, she once took a piece of poop out of the toilet and ran over to my dad shouting "I have a present for you!!"...be glad you're daughter didn't do that xD