Kids: Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams...

By chelserusera - 14/05/2009 01:45 - United States

Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML

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You deserved it 7 622

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Same thing different taste

Gummy

By madeleine - 08/04/2021 05:00

Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML

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You deserved it 292

By gross - 06/08/2015 17:28 - United States

Today, I asked my one-year-old to come and give mommy a kiss. She did and it was really sweet, until she tried to spit a piece of dog food into my mouth. FML

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By ManchotDesAndes - 26/02/2015 07:35 - France - Bezons

Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 303

You deserved it 11 166

By Lisaa918 - 10/06/2009 14:49 - United States

Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 200

You deserved it 6 185

By nutrigrain123 - 23/05/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML

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You deserved it 27 578

Nice of her

By Bill - 06/12/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 965

You deserved it 18 122

By laughxlove - 23/08/2010 04:03 - United States

Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 822

You deserved it 32 986

Flustered

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML

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You deserved it 110

By nutsucker - 08/03/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 530

You deserved it 10 867

By shoelace18 - 06/09/2009 04:19 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 886

You deserved it 5 972

amsilent 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 10:39

rofl. that's kind of cute, yet gross.

jumpgurl23 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 10:46

kids do the darndest thing

Comments

lifeislife_fml 0

Friday 15 May 2009 0:51

Ew.

Karnezar 2

Friday 15 May 2009 0:56

You know some people get paid for doing stuff like that. .

Fishies_fml 0

Friday 15 May 2009 1:06

hahahahahahaha that's gross but cute at the same time.

vag_fml 0

Friday 15 May 2009 1:55

i love her so.

Zpecial26 0

Friday 15 May 2009 2:13

LOL sorry but that's really funny.. But still... FYL

fieryice 0

Friday 15 May 2009 2:30

mmmmm.... yummmmy.... lol sucks for you

Saralaise 3

Friday 15 May 2009 2:46

Hahahahaha. Beware of Greeks bearing gifts :P

bayybee 0

Friday 15 May 2009 2:50

My 4 year old brother eats popcorn constantly and spills it all the time. He also generally takes his pants off a lot and just wears underwear. Any popcorn that falls on his underwear he calls pee-popcorn and then offers it to the rest of our family. little kids are gross, but adorable.

0neiros 14

Friday 15 May 2009 3:03

I Love how parents today take such things as an affront to them. She's 3 ******* years old, you generally don't take food from them, because the "From their hands to yours" chain is never intact. Instead of taking this moment as a future "Remember when you were 3 and used to keep Teddy grahams in your shorts?" right in front of their Friends when they're a snotty Teenager that needs to be taken down a notch, Chill out, putting an FML on a 3yo for doing something that 3yo kids do, makes you sound like you wish you didn't have her.