Kids: Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and...

By Oily - 16/12/2011 09:08 - New Zealand

Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 223

You deserved it 14 448

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Same thing different taste

By gbabyy - 22/11/2009 03:25 - United States

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 747

You deserved it 6 902

Sorry sweetie

By ddhaley1 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Edmond

Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 803

You deserved it 3 321

By ManchotDesAndes - 26/02/2015 07:35 - France - Bezons

Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 303

You deserved it 11 166

It's not what you think

By shway - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 966

You deserved it 7 439

By nybaby - 29/11/2010 21:17 - United States

Today, a little girl pointed to the acne on my face and said to her dad, "Look at how many mosquito bites she has on her face!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 457

You deserved it 3 938

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 20:22 - Spain - Valencia

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 297

You deserved it 9 389

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 562

You deserved it 3 442

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 873

You deserved it 5 243

By jazz - 22/01/2010 08:11 - France

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 294

You deserved it 5 757

By Anonymous - 19/10/2014 20:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 487

You deserved it 5 786

seximexi911 10

Friday 16 December 2011 15:58

Dirty mouth? Clean it up!! Hahaha I'm sorry I'm laughing at your expense op. :)

theunwiseone 4

Friday 16 December 2011 16:02

Well that's a shitty situ........ No??? Oh ok then. If anyone needs me I'll be sitting in the "overused pun corner"

Comments

whyarepeopledumb 2

Friday 16 December 2011 20:52

Jesus Christ, what's with all the downvotes?

megbrooke23 0

Friday 16 December 2011 20:55

Sounds like a load of crap lol pun intended

pikateat 6

Friday 16 December 2011 21:40

Well shit needs love to.

duhWINNING2_fml 9

Friday 16 December 2011 22:15

Incredibepic.

beebananaz88 0

Saturday 17 December 2011 0:27

At least it wasn't her poop.

nuggetmonster 12

Saturday 17 December 2011 0:43

Ah, the joy of words with multiple meanings.

cek31076 1

Saturday 17 December 2011 2:23

Ewwwwww dude

angrynegro7 16

Saturday 17 December 2011 3:06

Great, OP. Now your breath smells like shit.

Khalifa89 1

Saturday 17 December 2011 3:24

Did it taste good? Lol or did it taste like shit? Lmao

123_omg 19

Saturday 17 December 2011 3:35

She's that hard to understand as a 7 year old, or are you just hard of hearing? I was reading chapter books at 7. no lie.

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I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 832

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You deserved it 5 780

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You deserved it 1 804

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I agree, your life sucks 1 927

You deserved it 228

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I agree, your life sucks 28 634

You deserved it 4 083

Today, I lost my car keys, so I asked my ex-husband if he still had his spare to my car. He said he'd send it. I got an empty envelope with a troll face on it. There's a reason I left him. FML

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You deserved it 8 757

Today, I took a picture of my boobs and sent it to my boyfriend, only to realize after I hit "Send" that I had sent them to the taxi driver (my last phone call) who had just dropped me off at my house. He won't stop calling my phone now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 608

You deserved it 57 651

Same thing different taste

Sorry sweetie

It's not what you think

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