Kids: Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and...

By Oily - 16/12/2011 09:08 - New Zealand

Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 223

You deserved it 14 448

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Same thing different taste

By gbabyy - 22/11/2009 03:25 - United States

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 747

You deserved it 6 902

Sorry sweetie

By ddhaley1 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Edmond

Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 803

You deserved it 3 321

By ManchotDesAndes - 26/02/2015 07:35 - France - Bezons

Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 303

You deserved it 11 166

It's not what you think

By shway - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 966

You deserved it 7 439

By nybaby - 29/11/2010 21:17 - United States

Today, a little girl pointed to the acne on my face and said to her dad, "Look at how many mosquito bites she has on her face!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 457

You deserved it 3 938

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 20:22 - Spain - Valencia

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 297

You deserved it 9 389

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 562

You deserved it 3 442

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 873

You deserved it 5 243

By jazz - 22/01/2010 08:11 - France

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 294

You deserved it 5 757

By Anonymous - 19/10/2014 20:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 487

You deserved it 5 786

seximexi911 10

Friday 16 December 2011 15:58

Dirty mouth? Clean it up!! Hahaha I'm sorry I'm laughing at your expense op. :)

theunwiseone 4

Friday 16 December 2011 16:02

Well that's a shitty situ........ No??? Oh ok then. If anyone needs me I'll be sitting in the "overused pun corner"

Comments

vbmg152 18

Saturday 17 December 2011 4:29

Maybe you should pay more attention to your kid! At least give her a passing glance before you go kissing something! Idiot!!!

cuddlebunny3548 11

Saturday 17 December 2011 4:39

You should have paid more attention!!

TuteSweet 13

Saturday 17 December 2011 4:59

awe your such a cute dad :) my boy friend never kisses out kids boo-boos!

shots1996 8

Saturday 17 December 2011 5:17

Id buy some orbit for your dirty mouth

triphoes 0

Saturday 17 December 2011 5:33

pay attention to your kid before you eat shit bro.

Poser1337 5

Saturday 17 December 2011 7:30

CoolstoryBro

kei1108 13

Saturday 17 December 2011 7:35

Well, it was really sweet of you to kiss her 'boo-boo' automatically to make her feel better. :)

meanmachine511 0

Saturday 17 December 2011 10:21

Bird shit

lrjlvr6 0

Saturday 17 December 2011 13:59

How is there bird poop when you're in a mall...?

Norrisv5 8

Saturday 17 December 2011 17:07

Why would a 7 year old say "boo boo" :S

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I agree, your life sucks 48 809

You deserved it 12 921

Today, I was swimming in the fast lane at the pool. A guy in blue trunks was swimming slowly and really getting on everyone's nerves. I took a break, and looking around I couldn't see him. I turned to the guy next to me and said, "Finally, Mr. Blue Trunks has f**ked off." It was Mr. Blue Trunks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 561

You deserved it 39 793

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You deserved it 2 892

Today, I was on a city bus, and there was a woman and her child sitting behind me. I began to feel tugging on my jacket so I leaned forward, assuming the child was pulling on it. I sat back and felt the tugging again. After a couple of minutes, I heard the mother say, "Stop chewing on that!" FML

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You deserved it 2 812

Same thing different taste

Sorry sweetie

It's not what you think

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