Kids: Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do...

By Anonymous - 18/10/2014 19:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 335

You deserved it 14 531

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By notawizard - 16/07/2009 10:16 - Spain

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 348

You deserved it 95 132

By makeitstop - 04/08/2011 13:41 - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 600

You deserved it 63 605

By nanall - 04/06/2012 07:19 - United States

Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 227

You deserved it 4 505

By yingyang2 - 06/01/2011 02:19 - United States

Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 202

You deserved it 5 003

By SantaClaus - 02/11/2013 04:19 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my 8-year-old came home from school crying. Apparently her teacher told the whole class to write about how they felt when they learned that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy weren't real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 612

You deserved it 6 019

By AnonymousCow - 20/09/2016 13:04 - Australia - Perth

Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 816

You deserved it 1 900

By anonymous - 04/04/2013 22:52 - United States - Spring Valley

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 746

You deserved it 4 195

By thanksad - 23/08/2013 01:38 - United States - Cerritos

Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 416

You deserved it 3 696

By Santa - 25/12/2014 03:01 - United States - Cocoa

Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 554

You deserved it 13 437

By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 05:07 - New Zealand

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 809

You deserved it 12 124

iLike2Teabag 27

Sunday 19 October 2014 9:52

Pfft. Muggles.

cheshireau 26

Sunday 19 October 2014 10:01

I don't know whether to make a Harry Potter reference or to comment on your daughters foul mouth and lack of respect for you.

Comments

geekpower_fml 28

Monday 20 October 2014 15:44

Yes it is. I study there. But in real life it's called Oxford.

anscott 2

Monday 20 October 2014 19:34

Muggles see what they want to see

Stryker_13 19

Tuesday 21 October 2014 9:19

She must be punished for speaking such lies! She must write I must not tell lies now!

Cbethkid 15

Tuesday 21 October 2014 16:08

What a little wench. I'd smack that little brat.

LeBoss2001 5

Tuesday 21 October 2014 23:05

That's rude and unacceptable, but get wrecked lmao

Andrew863 12

Wednesday 22 October 2014 20:49

I'd punch my daughter in the face for using that language towards me.

bjg1009 3

Wednesday 22 October 2014 22:30

I'm sorry but that's just comedy right there. I'd ground the crap out of the kid but I'd struggle to not burst into laughter. Gotta love the lack of filter on kids.