I can understand his reasoning, long distances come with a whole bunch of difficulties and friends who aren't fully supportive just add to them. Good luck to you both!

So you didn't really have a complaint? Just wanted your post published? His family and closest friends knew about you and that's an even bigger deal. Congrats on having your name in lights, chicken little. Let us know when you have a legitimate complaint.

Please, the point of FML is to entertain us with self-pitying anecdotes, if I needed harrowing stories of human suffering I'd watch the news.

#33 Your talking about OP writing an FML to just get published so her name can be in the "spotlight" yet you are doing the same thing by commenting on her update she got published for a reason so chill out. On another note thanks for the update OP and I'm glad everything worked out for you.

My boyfriend is like that too, only we haven't met yet. But I hope things only get better here on out! You sound like a cute couple, given the details from your follow up! :)

I hope he's matured since his previous girlfriend. It's one thing not to post a relationship on Facebook, but it's a whole 'nother ball of wax to solicit dates while presenting yourself as single.

I don't really buy this. It seems to me that he's the sort of person who doesn't want others to know of his relationship so that he can still act like he's single when he's out with his friends. And the previous thing with his ex on Facebook just proves this in my opinion.

No you are not a big deal. When a man truly falls in love he'd want everyone to know. He'd be grinning from ear to ear telling his friends and family who has been making him happy or he would "casually" slip a mention of you in every conversation he has. When a man falls in love you would know. They would know. Even if he chose to only tell the most important people in his life, people around him will notice. Which is not the case of your boyfriend. He isn't just a "private" person. He's just keeping his options open by not telling everyone about you. And one more thing. He's still single on Facebook. He just set his privacy settings so you won't see it.

also #48 that could be a reason he is in a long distance relationship....so he wont be out with her much and less chance of running into strange while with his gf....seems even more shady after follow up

This followup just makes this FML sound bad. He doesn't sound like he cares about you and your relationship since it sounds like he's keeping his options open, especially since this is a long distance relationship so he can play around and not run into you while seeing other people. Personally I think you need to talk to him and get things straight about what the two of you are looking for in a relationship.

This is just too sketchy and he seems like the scum of the earth. If you're putting up with that shit and think it's okay then you're just as ****** up as he is.

I got sad when I read your comment. But I'm amused by imagining you tell your story to my mom. "... no, really, it actually means I'm a big deal!" "...oh honey, oh sweetie, I'm afraid it doesn't"

I'm pretty sure meeting his family matters more but what do i know smh this is silly

being in a relationship doesn't make you in love with that person, love grows in time. i don't know any man that walks around singing eat to eat that they're in love ctfu. I'm in love with my girl i don't do that, kinda cunng i just show her when we're together besides he introduced her to the only people that matter his family

"I'm pretty sure meeting his family matters more" That is an either/or fallacy. It's not as if she could meet either his family or his friends. She could have been introduced to both.

never said it was a choice but it was implied that he's hiding her. My point is i wouldn't take a girl I'm not serious about to meet my family but the same can't be said about friends think about that. i think the boyfriend just needs to grow a bit and op should tell him how she feels. There is a lot of overreaction going on here

Yeah, I can't say for certain because obviously I don't know the guy, but it's definitely something you should ask him about OP. I had a boyfriend for 4 years that I met in high school, but then I moved for college so we did the long distance thing during semesters. He started meeting random people over the Internet and used Skype a lot and changed his Facebook status from in a relationship to where it wouldn't show anything. I knew he was flirting with people too. He ended up cheating on me.

Have to point out, if he's hiding her to cheat by just sleeping around, meeting the parents doesn't really matter. His friends are who he'd be going out with. Am I saying ''break up!''? No, but be more concerned and talk to him about it. My brother is a 'private' guy, same reasons really, but he does NOT present himself as single if he's in a relationship. He will tell anyone if they ask him and he tells me and my mom. He is private in that he won't tell anyone unless asked, but he won't hide it and he definitely wouldn't try to act single. Even in a long distance relationship from Indiana to California. Don't assume he's cheating, but don't just shrug it off either.

Honestly, i'd be a bit suspicious, especially since what he did with his last girlfriend. He was actively looking to cheat on her even though you said they dated for 5 years. I don't see meeting the family as a big deal. I introduced a guy when we went on our first date even. If you live at home or you're a minor, your parents should meet any person you're dating, really. If a guy really is interested in you and/or loves you, they usually talk about you casually. If my boyfriend's friends (we've been together 1 year and 8 months) had no idea I existed I'd be very suspicious, because how can you never mention someone in a conversation for that long? And if he was looking to meet other girls with an ex of five years I'd figure he might be presenting himself as single again. That long of not mentioning you to other friends is weird I think.

Wow. This guy sounds like a total loser. What kind of person would act single when they are in a five year long relationship? F your life, but seriously, wise up and move on. This guy is no good. (P.S. I dated somebody for 3 years who acted similar, yet not nearly as extreme, to this. He cheated on me multiple times [I found out after we broke up] and ended up physically and verbally abusing me. Seriously, no good comes from people like your creep boyfriend.)

I thought the exact same thing

I'm curious as to how old y'all are? By this follow up I'm assuming high school?

To all of you who are bashing the boyfriend, can I just say that I'm in a long distance relationship right now, and I waited a long time to break it to my parents/friends. Not as long as one and a half years mind you but... I very tentatively told friends, one at a time, probably about 4 months into it, and I kept it from my dad until after I went to visit him irl (which was about 8 months after). Let me just say that if the first friend I told was not supportive, I probably would have kept my mouth shut. And I AM a very private person, and sensitive to people bashing on my relationship/my boyfriend (now fiance). I hate the thought of anyone thinking negatively of him or us or w.e. Especially my dad, who I look up to - if he had been disapproving, it would have broken my heart. That's why I was scared to tell. Honestly, OP's bf does seem more extreme than me, but if OP thinks she can trust him then that's her call. I'm just saying the fact that it's long distance does make it more understandable, though I can udnerstand if/why OP is upset about it. My fiance was upset but understanding, thankfully. Now everybody knows, and we're getting married :)

#50 said it right! OP, yeah keep convincing yourself all that nonsense about a boyfriend who's obviously a douchebag. The truth will come out sooner or later, I'm just afraid that it's going to break your heart when it does. It will save you a lot of heartache if you open your eyes and see him for what he is now!

This all sounds familiar. I was with a man for over a year who cheated on me. I had to practically fight him to get him to change his relationship statuses and he was so over protective of his phone. I saw messages on his kik of dozens of girls calling him "babe", and he did stuff like this to his ex before me, too. I was introduced to far more people than his ex, but that didn't mean I was safe. Just keep an eye on things, OP. Good luck to you.

They're probably like 16, "truly falling in love" isn't happening anytime soon.

he is gay

delusional

This response made me really sad for you :( It sounds like you really love him... And he really loves having you when it's convenient. I was reading some other comments and I hope they can help you see what's right in front of you... Real love is impossible to keep quiet about, and everyone deserves to be with someone who wants to tell the world what "a big deal" they are. I hope you figure it out before you get too hurt. Good luck either way OP.

This follow up makes me really sad. I hope you're right OP, but I will be surprised if this doesn't end in a lot of heartache for you. Even for someone who is shy, what does putting "In a relationship" on your Facebook page take? Nothing. Having nothing about a relationship status would make most assume single anyway, and if he's acting single then no one would give it a second thought.

nice

I mean, I get it. I've never really liked telling anybody about long distance relationships because I feel like people really sort of look down on them. Give you a hard time about not being able to find someone in person, they're probably some 12 year old or 54 year old, gonna abduct you, etc.. and you always have to prove it to the people you tell. It's too much, the wait is better.

In that case he still would have told his friends he was dating her, he just wouldn't have let them meet her. So that doesn't really fit.

right lol